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people prefer free e-books on the internet instead of purchasing traditional reading material in the future

people prefer free e-books on the internet instead of purchasing traditional reading material in the future 66w1j
It argued that people prefer free e-books on the internet instead of purchasing traditional reading material in the future. I completely agree with this idea because of two reasons as follow: First of all, in recent years, digital news websites and mobile applications have become a very useful tool for everyone around the globe to get news from the world. Additionally, people can search, and read news wherever they go, even whenever they want by only a smartphone, or an iPad with the internet. For instance, numerous popular magazines transferred online not only to get a foreign audience but also to improve the current environmental pollution situation regarding the printed papers used. Secondly, people will not need to buying paper books and newspapers because they can get e- editions quickly. For buying traditional newspapers, people have to go to the book store to buy the print version or wait for it to be delivered, or even published. Whereas, the electronic publication can be available on the internet and it is not difficult to get. For example, to purchase a foreign novel book, instead of buying the printed paper and waiting for it transported, people can buy its e-books version from the internet and can read it in just a few minutes. In conclusion, I firmly believe that the printed papers will become things of the past, and all people will stop buying books and newspapers in the future while free available electronic newspapers will be used mainly.
It argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer free e-books on the internet
instead
of purchasing traditional reading material in the future. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of two reasons
Did you mean "as follows"?
as follow
:

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, in recent years, digital news websites and mobile applications have become a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful tool for everyone around the globe to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
news from the world.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can search, and read news wherever they go, even whenever they want by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a smartphone, or an iPad with the internet.
For instance
, numerous popular magazines transferred online not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a foreign audience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
environmental pollution situation regarding the printed papers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will not need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
e- editions
quickly
. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
store to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the print version or wait for it to
be delivered
, or even published. Whereas, the electronic publication can be available on the internet and it is not difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
.
For example
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
a foreign novel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
,
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
the printed paper and waiting for it transported,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
its e-books version from the internet and can read it in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few minutes.

In conclusion
, I
firmly
believe that the printed papers will become things of the past, and all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
in the future while free available electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
mainly
.

IELTS essay people prefer free e-books on the internet instead of purchasing traditional reading material in the future

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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