Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The most important investment for a big company is to improve the efficiency and proficiency of its employees.

The most important investment for a big company is to improve the efficiency and proficiency of its employees. pJN9m
Nowadays, the competitions among those big corporations have become more and more fierce. To gain more market share, big companies have to decide which area to invest. As far as I concerned, the most worthwhile investment for a company is to improve the internal employees’ ability and skills. Firstly, training the employees can make a company run more effectively. The company’s staffs can learn a lot of skills or method that is helpful for their daily work. For example, the company can invite their old employees to share their experience in such a long-time work. Those experience can be very hard to find in the books, so it is really valuable. Other new employees can aware a lot of skills that can make their work more effective. Like how to use computer software to complete reports more quickly. As a result, in the same amount of time, staffs can handle more affairs than before, which means they can make more profits for the company. Also, the old employees might tell them some methods to avoid many mistakes that the old staffs made when they are new in the company. The new employees can make less mistakes in the future, so they don’t need much time to correct the mistakes. Secondly, the policy of investing a lot on employees can help the company possesses better reputation. All the employees want to improve themselves in the work with no doubt, so people will be attracted by the company who is willing to train their workers. Hence, more talented people will come to the company and work for them. Take Huawei as an example, Huawei will offer training programs to its employees every quarter to promote their employees. Many people are desired about this policy and hope they could go to work for Huawei. What’s more, the company will gain more investments from other companies if the company try improve the efficiency and proficiency of its employees. This is because as more talented people work for the company for a great improvement, some investment company can see the potential of the company. The company can do a lot of work and attract more consumers due to the employees. As a result, they will provide huge amount of financial support to help the company to develop. The company is able to grow faster because of their contribution to the employees’ efficiency and proficiency. Take Apple as an example, Steve Jobs always focused on the creativity of his company. So the people who work in Apple will be taught to how to design and produce the product efficiently. This is why they can launch more creative products compared to its competitors. And lot of famous investment firms such as Berkshire Hathaway owed by Buffett invest Apple. So far, Apple is the world’s second largest mobile phone maker thanks to their employees’ efficiency and proficiency. Investing improvement of the efficiency and proficiency of employees can bring many benefits to a company. Those benefits help the company to become larger in the market. Without the efficiency and proficiency, it will be really hard for company to develop in a fast pace.
Nowadays, the competitions among those
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
corporations have become more and more fierce. To gain more market share,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
decide which area to invest. As far as I concerned, the most worthwhile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the internal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees’
ability and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Firstly
, training the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
run more
effectively
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company’s
staffs can learn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
or method
that is
helpful for their daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
can invite their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to share their experience in such a long-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. Those experience can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to find in the books,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
really
valuable. Other new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
can aware a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
more effective. Like how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computer software to complete reports more
quickly
.
As a result
, in the same amount of time, staffs can handle more affairs than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, which means they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
more profits for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
Also
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
methods to avoid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
mistakes that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
staffs made when they are new in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. The new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun mistakes is countable.
less
mistakes in the future,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they don’t need much time to correct the mistakes.

Secondly
, the policy of investing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
possesses better reputation. All the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with no doubt,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
be attracted
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
who is willing to train their workers.
Hence
, more talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for them. Take Huawei as an example, Huawei will offer training programs to its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
every quarter to promote their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are desired
about this policy and hope they could go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for Huawei.

What’s more, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
will gain more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investments
from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
try
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efficiency
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proficiency
of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
as more talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
for a great improvement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the potential of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
can do a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and attract more consumers due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
.
As a result
, they will provide huge amount of financial support to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
to develop. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is able to grow faster
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their contribution to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efficiency
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proficiency
. Take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Apple
as an example, Steve Jobs always focused on the creativity of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Apple
will
be taught
to how to design and produce the product
efficiently
. This is why they can launch more creative products compared to its competitors. And
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
firms such as Berkshire Hathaway owed by Buffett invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Apple
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
far,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Apple
is the world’s second largest mobile phone maker thanks to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efficiency
and proficiency.

Investing improvement of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efficiency
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proficiency
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. Those benefits
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
to become larger in the market. Without the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efficiency
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proficiency
, it will be
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
to develop in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay The most important investment for a big company is to improve the efficiency and proficiency of its employees.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
524 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5band
    the pictures show how ketchup is made
    The illustration demonstrates the process by which tomato ketchup is made. There are 15 steps in the process, from picking and putting tomatoes in basket to eating with hamburger and fries. The first step is that tomatoes are picked and are put into basket and they are sorted into good and bad toma...
  • 5band
    process show how ketchup is made
    The illustration demonstrates the process by which tomato ketchup is made. There are 15 steps in the process, from picking and putting tomatoes in basket to eating with hamburger and fries. The first step is that tomatoes are picked and are put into basket and they are sorted into good and bad toma...
  • 5.5band
    Some people believe that teenager should be required to do unpaid work in their free time. These can benefit teenager and society as too.
    Voluntary work should be done by teenager during their leisure time as it gave enormous benefits to them and society I believe it provide them work experience and some basic skills like team work and community will get aid for improving their contacts, basic facilities Doing work without salary is b...
  • 6band
    the more a product is advertised, the more people will want to buy it
    It is true that more advertising is the best way to attract more customers. While I agree with this view, I believe that people pay more attention the quality of the products than influencing advertisements. On the one hand, advertising is necessary in free market economies. Business companies use ...
  • 6band
    banning smoking in your country
    Medical studies have shown that smoking not only leads to health problems for the smoker, but also for people close by. As a result of this, many believe that smoking should not be allowed in public places. Although there are arguments on both sides, I strongly agree that a ban is the most appropria...
  • 6band
    Animal Rights in my country
    Some people believe that animals should be treated in the same way humans are and have similar rights, whereas others think that it is more important to use them as we desire for food and medical research. This essay will discuss both points of view. With regard to the exploitation of animals, peop...





Get more results for topic:
  • The most important investment for a big company is to improve the efficiency and proficiency of its employees.