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people perceive that all types of product promotion are entirely prohibited.

people perceive that all types of product promotion are entirely prohibited. JV7BB
There has been an emerging phenomenon that people perceive that all types of product promotion are entirely prohibited. As far as I am concerned, we are able to lessen the number of advertisements instead of immediately and completely discard them. The following essay attempts to shed light on this topic and explains why I advocate that. Admittedly, absolutely cutting down the number of promotions has a critical impact on the financial infrastructure, especially on international conglomerates. This is understandable due to the corporation responsibility which initiates with the produce of manufacturers and culminates with the demand of consumers. It is clearly observable that all forms of advertising is to stimulate people to purchase products and the products that are consumed by customers directly affects the innovation in revenues of producers. This premise provides a satisfactory justification of the reason that we should only cut down a small quantity of advertising. On the other hand, we are obviously able to reduce the quantity of commercial promotion rather than utterly eliminating them. There are a variety of rewarding ways that people are able to diminish the ubiquitous occurrence of advertisements involving setting the limit for the number of advertisements that are allocated to appear in the videos on Youtube, etc. To further elucidate, some apps encourage people to spend money on premium membership cards in order to avoid being interrupted by advertisements. This realistic method will directly provide an appropriate profit for both people who invented this app and their business partners. In summary, from what has been presented above, it can be concluded that each idea has its own vividness. Personally, I wholeheartedly believe that advertisements should reasonably be allowed to occur in order to maintain the development and the balance of financial infrastructure and to satisfy the pretence of purchasing of the consumers.
There has been an emerging phenomenon that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
perceive that all types of product promotion are
entirely
prohibited. As far as I
am concerned
, we are able to lessen the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
instead
of immediately and completely discard them. The following essay attempts to shed light on this topic and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
why I advocate that.

Admittedly
,
absolutely
cutting down the number of promotions has a critical impact on the financial infrastructure,
especially
on international conglomerates. This is understandable due to the corporation responsibility which initiates with the produce of manufacturers and culminates with the demand of consumers. It is
clearly
observable that all forms of advertising is to stimulate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
products and the products that
are consumed
by customers
directly
affects the innovation in revenues of producers. This premise provides a satisfactory justification of the reason that we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
quantity of advertising.

On the other hand
, we are
obviously
able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the quantity of commercial promotion
rather
than
utterly
eliminating them. There are a variety of rewarding ways that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to diminish the ubiquitous occurrence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
involving setting the limit for the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
that
are allocated
to appear in the videos on
Possible spelling mistake found.
Youtube
, etc. To
further
elucidate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
apps encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to spend money on premium membership cards in order to avoid
being interrupted
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
. This realistic method will
directly
provide an appropriate profit for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who invented this app and their business partners.

In summary, from what has
been presented
above, it can
be concluded
that each
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
vividness.
Personally
, I
wholeheartedly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
should
reasonably
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to occur in order to maintain the development and the balance of financial infrastructure and to satisfy the pretence of purchasing of the consumers.
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IELTS essay people perceive that all types of product promotion are entirely prohibited.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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