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Getting promotion is one of the biggest drives

Getting promotion is one of the biggest drives y7w2g
It is well-known, that wish to climb the career ladder makes people devote themselves to toiling and overworking. The following essay will illustrate possible basis of a such desire as well as other reasons for changing work-life balance favor of the work. Firstly, human being has a social predisposition to invest in the future to obtain confidence. Person who works hard will rather gain the promotion and as follows additional rewards including money and other extrinsic values (i. e. , private cabinet). By way of illustration, consider my best friend’s father, who spent his free time in his youthfulness to learn more about his vocation – he fixed military machines gratuitously. Now he is General of the Army and of course he earns more than his military academy mates, furthermore he has much more power. On the other hand, intrinsic values also matter. Sometimes fruits of labor represented not only by further well-off being, but also by intangible reward, like social respect. Its could be also exemplified by my pal’s dad career curve, which was mentioned above. One of most important motivations for him remains intention to supply soldiers with safety machines to minimise possible damage for them. He always claimed, that all soldiers should return home healthy during peacetime. In conclusion, I would like to stress that combination of both extrinsic and intrinsic values paly role as encouragement for self-sacrificing work. In number of occasions attitude towards job cannot be explained only by willing to become a big cheese and obtain financial benefits.
It is well-known, that wish to climb the career ladder
makes
people
devote themselves to toiling and overworking. The following essay will illustrate possible basis of a such desire
as well
as other reasons for changing work-life balance favor of the work.

Firstly
, human being has a social predisposition to invest in the future to obtain confidence. Person who works
hard
will
rather
gain the promotion and as follows additional rewards including money and other extrinsic values (
i. e.
,
private cabinet). By way of illustration, consider my best friend’s father, who spent his free time in his youthfulness to learn more about his vocation
he
fixed
military machines
gratuitously
.
Now
he is General of the Army and
of course
he earns more than his military academy mates,
furthermore
he has much more power.

On the other hand
, intrinsic values
also
matter.
Sometimes
fruits of labor represented not
only
by
further
well-off being,
but
also
by intangible reward, like social respect.
Its
could be
also
exemplified by my pal’s dad career curve, which
was mentioned
above. One of most
important
motivations for him remains intention to supply soldiers with safety machines to
minimise
possible damage for them. He always claimed, that all soldiers should return home healthy during peacetime.

In conclusion
, I would like to
stress
that combination of both extrinsic and intrinsic values
paly
role as encouragement for self-sacrificing work. In number of occasions attitude towards job cannot be
explained
only
by willing to become a
big
cheese and obtain financial benefits.
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IELTS essay Getting promotion is one of the biggest drives

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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