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People over the age of sixty-five can undertake specific activities and can contribute significantly to society.

People over the age of sixty-five can undertake specific activities and can contribute significantly to society. Ll2a3
There are many ways retirees can contribute. For the first time in their lives these people will have a lot of free time, it's a chance to do all the things they didn't have time to do before. For example, volunteering or setting up your own company. Older people who were old players can also be useful in sports. They can be hired as coaches in many matches and this will keep them physically active. It is beneficial for both society and the elderly because it gives them a sense of contribution and achievement. Finally, the elderly can be very useful to society, as they are well employed according to their abilities and experience.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways retirees can contribute. For the
first
time in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
free time, it's a chance to do all the things they didn't have time to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
For example
, volunteering or setting up your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. Older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
players can
also
be useful in sports. They can
be hired
as coaches in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
matches and this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them
physically
active. It is beneficial for both society and the elderly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it gives them a sense of contribution and achievement.
Finally
, the elderly can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful to society, as they are well employed according to their abilities and experience.
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IELTS essay People over the age of sixty-five can undertake specific activities and can contribute significantly to society.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
114 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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