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People nowadays work hard to buy more things .this has made our life generally more comfortable but it is pity many traditional values have been lost on the way to such materialism. Agree or disagree?

People nowadays work hard to buy more things. this has made our life generally more comfortable but it is pity many traditional values have been lost on the way to such materialism. Agree or disagree? rJK6
In pursuit of material comforts, modern man strives to achieve better financial status. Hence, In this state of mind, they consciously or unconsciously create their life surfaced and gradually found themselves disconnected from their traditional customs. Nonetheless, I believe although a narrow range falls into this category, the larger proportion of society still values their culture amid material wealth. There are a number of the basis behind the argument that we are killing our roots on the way to materialism. The First and foremost, with open markets and massive industrialization, both the buying power and the options for the people have enhanced. Despite this accelerating purchasing alternatives, the act of buying or possessing does not directly kill our values. Whereas, there is a deeper disease called instant gratification where people want to do less and get more results. Eventually, this feeling may create an attitude of irresponsibility which makes people selfish and manipulative in today's stressful working conditions. Second argument is that visiting neighbourhood houses used to be a favourite ritual for people in the past, that helped them in fostering a friendly relationship with one’s neighbours. On the contrary, this is not possible today, since people are too busy as they serve for long hours outside their homes to meet their ever enhancing demands of modern life. Even though, this has been effectively compensated. For example, by the formation of neighbourhood clubs and similar groups where people meet during weekends and engage in a number of entertainment and social activities. This, this provides them enormous opportunities to develop an amiable connection with their neighbours. In conclusion, I believe that we are not losing our ethics but the way of executing them has transformed in our times. Living a good provided life rather helps us take pride in our cultural history and celebrate it by way of festivals and day to day behaviour.
In pursuit of material comforts, modern
man
strives to achieve better financial status.
Hence
, In this state of mind, they
consciously
or
unconsciously
create their life surfaced and
gradually
found themselves disconnected from their traditional customs. Nonetheless, I believe although a narrow range falls into this category, the larger proportion of society
still
values their culture amid material wealth.

There are a number of the basis behind the argument that we are killing our roots on the way to materialism. The
First
and foremost, with open markets and massive industrialization, both the buying power and the options for the
people
have enhanced. Despite this accelerating purchasing alternatives, the act of buying or possessing does not
directly
kill our values. Whereas, there is a deeper disease called instant gratification where
people
want to do less and
get
more results.
Eventually
, this feeling may create an attitude of irresponsibility which
makes
people
selfish and manipulative in
today
's stressful working conditions.

Second argument is that visiting
neighbourhood
houses
used
to be a
favourite
ritual for
people
in the past, that
helped
them in fostering a friendly relationship with one’s
neighbours
.
On the contrary
, this is not possible
today
, since
people
are too busy as they serve for long hours outside their homes to
meet
their ever enhancing demands of modern life.
Even though
, this has been
effectively
compensated.
For example
, by the formation of
neighbourhood
clubs and similar groups where
people
meet
during weekends and engage in a number of entertainment and social activities. This, this provides them enormous opportunities to develop an amiable connection with their
neighbours
.

In conclusion
, I believe that we are not losing our ethics
but
the way of executing them has transformed in our times. Living a
good
provided life
rather
helps
us take pride in our cultural history and celebrate it by way of festivals and day to day
behaviour
.
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IELTS essay People nowadays work hard to buy more things. this has made our life generally more comfortable but it is pity many traditional values have been lost on the way to such materialism. Agree or disagree?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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