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It is something said that a high salary is most important factor in choosing a job. Do you agree?

It is something said that a high salary is most important factor in choosing a job. Do you agree? AEPn
Some section of the society is convinced that the key element to choosing a work on high wages while other tend to disagree with this approach. In my opinion, I partially agree with this view because job satisfaction is also essential while choosing a job. To begin with, there are many reasons why higher salary is important to be considered white selecting a job. Firstly, if employees get more salary then they help to increase the overall productivity because bif a worker is getting higher wages then other also work harder to get promoted to the same salary. Secondly, people struggle to earn more to fullfil their needs and support their family with growing requirements. For Instance, one of the survey conducted by the world employees concil, they shows that 70% of workers choose job that pay higher. So, employees are greedy to high paying job in the market. However, salary cannot be the only important while selecting a job. Job satisfaction is also necessary because there is no real value of money, if people are not satisfied with the assigned work than they cannot complete their work properly. Furthermore, young employees prefer to good work environment because they need an atmosphere which is safe and healthy and which caters to both personal comforts and is conductive to doing a good job and trying to work more. In conclusion, there is no doubt high pay is most crucial factor when deciding a career path, but job satisfaction is also important for increasing in productivity.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
section of the society
is convinced
that the key element to choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on high wages while other tend to disagree with this approach. In my opinion, I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction is
also
essential while choosing a job.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
be considered
white selecting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Firstly
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
Did you mean "than"?
then
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to increase the
overall
productivity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Possible spelling mistake found.
bif
a worker is getting higher wages then other
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
harder to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
promoted to the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
struggle to earn more to
Possible spelling mistake found.
fullfil
their needs and support their family with growing requirements.
For Instance
, one of the survey conducted by the world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
Possible spelling mistake found.
concil
, they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "show"
shows
that 70% of workers choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that pay higher.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are greedy to high paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in the market.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
cannot be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
while selecting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Job
satisfaction is
also
necessary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is no real value of money, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are not satisfied with the assigned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
than they cannot complete their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
properly
.
Furthermore
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they need an atmosphere which is safe and healthy and which caters to both personal comforts and is conductive to doing a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and trying to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
more.

In conclusion
, there is no doubt high pay is
Did you mean "the most"?
most
crucial factor when deciding a career path,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for increasing in productivity.
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IELTS essay It is something said that a high salary is most important factor in choosing a job. Do you agree?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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