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People nowadays sleep less than they used in the past .what do you think that is the reason for this ?what are the consequences for the people and people around them?

People nowadays sleep less than they used in the past. what do you think that is the reason for this? what are the consequences for the people and people around them? 5kQBA
Undeniable fact that now people have hectic lifestyle as well as they are working on long hours all over the world it is believed by some people that in the past people used to sleep a lot to compare the present scenario. In this essay, I shall discuss few reasons behind my payment as well as I shall discuss few consequences among the people in the following paragraphs. There are few countable reasons why some people believe that nowadays, human sleep less than they used in the past. The first and foremost reason, which cannot be avoided, is that at the present time, people have busy lifestyle and they like to work a long period, as they like to earn more money for them and they ignore their sleeping time. For instance, in the past, people give equal importance between sleep and work but nowadays people are avoiding to get enough sleep as they like to achieve more money. Another important reason is that people do not get enough take rest for their materialistic lifestyle and also due to modern and advanced technology, people are using more and more technological advancement. To make it more clear that people have busy lifestyle and that is why they do not have enough time for advanced gadget. On the other hand, there are numerous results. To begin with, if people cannot get enough sleep, it directly effects their health as human body needs some time for relaxation. Last but not the least, in the the last few decades, people lived healthy and wealthy lifestyle due to get enough sleep, however your people are avoiding to get sleep in this contrary era. In conclusion, it can be reiterated that these days, individuals sleep less than they used in the past, but some consequences should not be avoided.
Undeniable fact that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have hectic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
as well
as they are working on long hours all over the world it
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
a lot to compare the present scenario. In this essay, I shall discuss few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
behind my payment
as well
as I shall discuss few
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "among". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences among
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the following paragraphs.

There are few countable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that nowadays, human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
less than they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
. The
first
and foremost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
, which cannot
be avoided
, is that at the present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have busy
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lifestyle and
they like to work a long period, as they like to earn more money for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
their sleeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
For instance
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
give equal importance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
and work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are avoiding to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
as they like to achieve more money. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
take rest for their materialistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
and
also
due to modern and advanced technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using more and more technological advancement. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
and
that is
why they do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for advanced gadget.

On the other hand
, there are numerous results. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
, it
directly
effects their health as human body needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for relaxation. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, in
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
last few decades,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
healthy and wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
,
however
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are avoiding to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
in this contrary era.

In conclusion
, it can
be reiterated
that these days, individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
less than they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
consequences should not
be avoided
.
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IELTS essay People nowadays sleep less than they used in the past. what do you think that is the reason for this? what are the consequences for the people and people around them?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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