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PEOPLE NOWADAYS DO NOT FEEL SAFE AT HOME OR OUT. WHAT ARE THE REASONS AND SOLUTIONS.

PEOPLE NOWADAYS DO NOT FEEL SAFE AT HOME OR OUT. WHAT ARE THE REASONS AND SOLUTIONS. paL8a
Today, a number of people think that they’re more likely to be harmed even when they’re at home or when they’re outside. This essay will show what caused the problem and measures that society and individuals can do to address it. Firstly, people usually worry about burglary when they are at home. They are scared when someone break into their house to rob or even murder. When people get outside, they are also concerned about crimes that happen around them, especially women and children. Many of them are afraid of abusers and kidnappers when they’re outside at night. Secondly, traffic collisions are now concerned by the citizens because there have been a pile of cases in which people injured or even died in a car crash lately. As a result, people just don’t feel safe to commute anymore. A useful suggestion for people to deal with burglary is not to let their house too well-lit as this will attract criminals. Another resolution is to install a home security system in order to detect unauthorized entry. Crimes in society could be solved if the government enact stricter laws to protect the citizens better. Car accidents could be coped with by raising the awareness of the citizens about traffic, especially children. Otherwise, traffic police can carry out more patrol to make sure that the commuters comply with the traffic rules. In this way, people would be protected better when they drive. To conclude, today, people find staying at home and being outside are both insecure. However, people can cope with this when the government sets out strict rules to protect the citizens and the people find useful ways to secure themselves.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
they’re
more likely to
be harmed
even when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
they’re
at home or when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
they’re
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
what caused the problem and measures that society and individuals can do to address it.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
worry about burglary when they are at home. They
are scared
when someone break into their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
to rob or even murder. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
, they are
also
concerned about crimes that happen around them,
especially
women and children.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of them are afraid of abusers and kidnappers when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
they’re
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
at night.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
collisions are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
concerned by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there have been a pile of cases in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
injured or even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
in a car crash lately.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
don’t feel safe to commute anymore.

A useful suggestion for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to deal with burglary is not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
too well-lit as this will attract criminals. Another resolution is to install a home security system in order to detect unauthorized entry. Crimes in society could
be solved
if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
enact stricter laws to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
better. Car accidents could
be coped
with by raising the awareness of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
,
especially
children.
Otherwise
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
police can carry out more patrol to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that the commuters comply with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
. In this way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
be protected
better when they drive.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find staying at home and being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
are both insecure.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can cope with this when the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
sets out strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find useful ways to secure themselves.
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IELTS essay PEOPLE NOWADAYS DO NOT FEEL SAFE AT HOME OR OUT. WHAT ARE THE REASONS AND SOLUTIONS.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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