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People moving from farms to cities. However, it might cause disadvantages in cities and in farms

People moving from farms to cities. However, it might cause disadvantages in cities and in farms MMqk9
Rural workers are opting to switch their lives to find work opportunities in the cities, which might trigger unwanted circumstances to the society. First of all, people who work at farms have a crucial function to the overall nation wellbeing. For instance, our body demands various types of nutrients to perform well during daily activities and if proper food such as fresh meat, or vegetables fall short people would suffer from several diseases. Therefore, health carers such as doctors, nurses among other workers would also have to deal with people trying to improve their health. Another concern is that, farmers moving from rural areas to cities can also raise business awareness, because a high-rise of people from rural areas would increase employment demand as well as places to rent and live. Therefore, a new standard of unemployment also could happen and therefore affect the way population lives, hence, problems such as, jobless, homeless would grow along. Overall, in my opinion, farmers moving from their casual lifestyle seeking for better life in the cities could cause various unwanted circumstances to both sides. For the reason that, industries, health care systems and businesses would have to find new tools to tackle problems such as, jobless, homeless as well as to treat people suffering from diseases. As a solution to tackle such impact on the community standard, the government should create ways to help both sectors. For example, by reducing prices of essential machines and in land prices it would facilitate new purchases allowing the investor to remain where they are. What's more the reduction in prices would enhance productivity and working conditions, thus resulting in both areas normality.
Rural workers are opting to switch their
lives
to find work opportunities in the cities, which might trigger unwanted circumstances to the society.

First of all
,
people
who work at farms have a crucial function to the
overall
nation
wellbeing
.
For instance
, our body demands various types of nutrients to perform well during daily activities and if proper food such as fresh meat, or vegetables fall short
people
would suffer from several diseases.
Therefore
, health carers such as doctors, nurses among other workers would
also
have to
deal with
people
trying to
improve
their health.

Another concern is that, farmers moving from rural areas to cities can
also
raise business awareness,
because
a high-rise of
people
from rural areas would increase employment demand
as well
as places to rent and
live
.
Therefore
, a new standard of unemployment
also
could happen and
therefore
affect the way population
lives
,
hence
, problems such as, jobless, homeless would grow along.

Overall
, in my opinion, farmers moving from their casual lifestyle seeking for better life in the cities could cause various unwanted circumstances to both sides. For the reason that, industries, health care systems and businesses would
have to
find new tools to tackle problems such as, jobless, homeless
as well
as to treat
people
suffering from diseases. As a solution to tackle such impact on the community standard, the
government
should create ways to
help
both sectors.
For example
, by reducing prices of essential machines and in land prices it would facilitate new
purchases
allowing the investor to remain where they are. What's more the reduction in prices would enhance productivity and working conditions,
thus
resulting in both
areas
normality.
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IELTS essay People moving from farms to cities. However, it might cause disadvantages in cities and in farms

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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