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People live longer today and so people should stay in the workforce longer. To whatextent do you agree or disagree? v.1

People live longer today and so people should stay in the workforce longer. To whatextent v. 1
Transnational corporations are becoming more common in less developed nations. The primary benefit of this phenomenon is that these companies provide employment opportunities to people living in that country, while the local businesses could suffer from losses due to reduced trade is the main drawback. The principal advantage of setting up multinational firms in developing countries is that it facilitates the individuals of that region with various job offers. That is to say, these organizations need people to work for them at different levels of departments in order to function properly and produce products. As a result, more number of people will be hired providing innumerable jobs with appropriate salaries. For example, Apple from the USA opened a new branch in India in 2012, providing working options to over 1 lakh people from then. Despite the benefit of increased jobs to public, the regional trading markets will undergo tremendous strain due to decreased sales of their products. In other words, people tend to purchase goods from multinational markets, which offers them with low prices and better quality in comparison with local shops. Apparently, the regional businesses will face hardship due to financial losses incurred due to less sales. For instance, in 2014 Titan stores in Indian had seen a 30% drop in their sales because of the inauguration of new Fossil shops. In conclusion, although the main advantage of setting up international firms in developing countries would facilitate their individuals with numerous jobs, the regional trade will see monetary loss and even lead to bankruptcy due to decreased trading.
Transnational corporations are becoming more common in less developed nations. The primary benefit of this phenomenon is that these
companies
provide employment opportunities to
people
living in that country, while the local businesses could suffer from losses
due
to
reduced
trade is the main drawback.

The principal advantage of setting up multinational firms in
developing countries
is that it facilitates the individuals of that region with various
job
offers.
That is
to say, these organizations need
people
to work for them at
different
levels of departments in order to function
properly
and produce products.
As a result
, more number of
people
will
be hired
providing innumerable
jobs
with appropriate salaries.
For example
, Apple from the USA opened a new branch in India in 2012, providing working options to over 1 lakh
people
from then.

Despite the benefit of increased
jobs
to public, the regional trading markets will undergo tremendous strain
due
to decreased sales of their products.
In other words
,
people
tend to
purchase
goods
from multinational markets, which offers them with low prices and better quality
in comparison
with local shops.
Apparently
, the regional businesses will face hardship
due
to financial losses incurred
due
to less sales.
For instance
, in 2014 Titan stores in Indian had
seen
a 30% drop in their sales
because
of the inauguration of new Fossil shops.

In conclusion
, although the main advantage of setting up international firms in
developing countries
would facilitate their individuals with numerous
jobs
, the regional trade will
see
monetary loss and even lead to bankruptcy
due
to decreased trading.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay People live longer today and so people should stay in the workforce longer. To whatextent v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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