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people live in a small family in cities

people live in a small family in cities NV220
There are several positive effects if people live in a small family in cities. On the one hand, people who have a small family unit do not need too much money to buy a house or a large accommodation to live because maybe there are only three members in their family. Therefore, they can save money to lead a better standard of living, which means that they can save money and spend money on education or healthcare. Additionally, most of them could allow older people live in their hometown in order to cut more costs. Children who live in a core family can become more independent because most of the time their parents do not have time to take care of them and they need to learn how to cook or other life skills. On the other hand, this trend can also have negative effects. People who need to live in cities may feel lonely because sometimes they need to have interactions with their relatives who live in another city or village and their children do not have opportunities to play with their peers. For their children, they can not feel loved since their parents need to pay more attention to their work in order to earn money to cover their needs.
There are several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
in cities. On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
unit do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
or
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "large accommodation".
a large accommodation
to
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live
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
maybe there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
three members in their
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family
.
Therefore
, they can save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to lead a better standard of living, which means that they can save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on education or healthcare.
Additionally
, most of them could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
older
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in their hometown in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
more costs. Children
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who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a core
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
can become more independent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the time their parents do not have time to take care of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to learn how to cook or other life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

On the other hand
, this trend can
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects.
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People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in cities may feel lonely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to have interactions with their relatives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in another city or village and their children do not have opportunities to play with their peers. For their children, they can not feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
since their parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to pay more attention to their work in order to earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to cover their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
.
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IELTS essay people live in a small family in cities

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
212 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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