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People listen to music for different reasons and at different times. Why?

People listen to music for different reasons and at different times. Why? PgKDj
I will state my opinion about music and support it with appropriate arguments and example. Today, music takes the main part of human life. Many people listen to music in the streets, at home or anywhere. They can get different feelings from music such as getting relaxation, having a good time. Nowadays, more than half the population on the earth enjoy listening to music and making music. It has a lot of positive effects on people, that can even completely change the lives of people. Music is an expression of emotion. it can be sad or happy, angry or contented. When people play or listen to music, they feel their emotions. often people listen to certain music because they want to feel a certain way. We enjoy music because of its beauty. Music is art, an expression of beauty.
I will state my opinion about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and support it with appropriate arguments and example.
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Today
,
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music
takes the main part of human life.
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Many
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people
listen to
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music
in the streets, at home or anywhere. They can
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get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
feelings from
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music
such as getting relaxation, having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
time. Nowadays, more than half the population on the earth enjoy listening to
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music
and making
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music
. It has
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a lot of
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positive
effects on
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people
, that can even completely
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change
the
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lives
of
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people
.
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Music
is an expression of emotion.
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it
can be sad or happy, angry or contented. When
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people
play or listen to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, they feel their emotions.
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often
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people
listen to certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to feel a certain way. We enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its beauty.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is art, an expression of beauty.
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IELTS essay People listen to music for different reasons and at different times. Why?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
139 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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