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More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone? v.15

More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone? v. 15
These days individuals tend to relocate to cities for better life prospects. Though cities can improve our living standards, it can be detrimental if we are not vigilant and careful. This essay will discuss some hardships while living in a metropolitan area and some effective methods the government can undertake to secure lives in the cities. To begin, urbanization and industrialization have propelled people to move out of villages in search of better job opportunities and social life. Desire to improve the lifestyle have caused many troubles. Firstly, illegal activities in the urban areas is increasing in alarming rate and the newcomers are the ones who are mostly targeted. To illustrate, Naukri employment bureau, a famous consultancy in Bangalore targets the newcomers who are in need of a job. They promise them employment if they lend them certain amount, which are usually around a thousand dollars. Moreover, people face many other problems such as heavy traffic, sexual assault and pollution. Government has a very important role in securing the society and making it a better place for its residents. Police should increase their patrol time in and around the community as it can deter sex rackets and employment scam. Moreover, the ministry should establish a mechanism, which can help people to connect police officers in case of any emergency. In conclusion, it is no doubt that cities can change our lives for better. People will undoubtedly encounter many hurdles while their stay in a city. However, with government support, some steps such as control of crime by patrolling and providing assistance to the newcomers could help a lot.
These days individuals tend to relocate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
life prospects. Though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our living standards, it can be detrimental if we are not vigilant and careful. This essay will discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hardships while living in a metropolitan area and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
effective methods the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can undertake to secure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in the cities.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, urbanization and industrialization have propelled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
out of villages in search of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
job opportunities and social life. Desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the lifestyle have caused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
troubles.
Firstly
, illegal activities in the urban areas is increasing in alarming rate and the newcomers are the ones who are
mostly
targeted. To illustrate,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Naukri
employment bureau, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
consultancy in Bangalore targets the newcomers who are in need of a job. They promise them employment if they lend them certain amount, which are
usually
around a thousand dollars.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other problems such as heavy traffic, sexual assault and pollution.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in securing the society and making it a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
place for its residents. Police should increase their patrol time in and around the community as it can deter sex rackets and employment scam.
Moreover
, the ministry should establish a mechanism, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to connect police officers in case of any emergency.

In conclusion
, it is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
will
undoubtedly
encounter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hurdles while their stay in a city.
However
, with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
support,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps such as control of crime by patrolling and providing assistance to the newcomers could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a lot.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone? v. 15

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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