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People have tendency to move abroad after retirement. What are the reasons behind this?

People have tendency to move abroad after retirement. What are the reasons behind this? obVw3
After retiring from a job, some people have the tendency of moving to another country or other states of their own country. This essay will discuss the possible causes and different effects of this type of relocation. There are several reasons that push retired people to migrate to other places. To begin with, they want to spend the rest of their lives with children and grandchildren; that's why they shift to the places where their offspring are settled. For instance, one of my uncles migrated to Canada after his retirement in order to spend some quality time with his daughter and grandsons. The other reason can be, people want to get security at their 60's; so, they try to settle down in a country that is old people friendly and provides more facilities for them. In contrast, there are both advantages and drawbacks of this kind of migration after retiring from work. The most common one is that they face several issues in socialising with foreigners regarding languages, as most of them are not aware of this particular country’s mother tongue. For example, they hardly find friends there, as they cannot connect with other people with their own language; so, it is really difficult for them to cope up with the new environment. Furthermore, the government who allows these people in its country faces several problems, because they have to allocate more budget for old age allowances; that might be an extra burden for this country’s economy. To sum up, many people move abroad in the hope of having a great time with family or a secure life. However, they face problems in making a convenient environment for them due to the differences between their cultures and traditions, and put pressure on the government too.
After retiring from a job,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the tendency of moving to another
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country
or
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other
states of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. This essay will discuss the possible causes and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
effects of this type of relocation.

There are several reasons that push retired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to migrate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
places. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, they want to spend the rest of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
with children and grandchildren; that's why they shift to the places where their offspring
are settled
.
For instance
, one of my uncles migrated to Canada after his retirement in order to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
quality time with his daughter and grandsons. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
reason can be,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
security at their
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "60s".
60's
;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they try to settle down in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
friendly and provides more facilities for them.

In contrast
, there are both advantages and drawbacks of this kind of migration after retiring from work. The most common one is that they face several issues in
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
with foreigners regarding languages, as most of them are not aware of this particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
mother tongue.
For example
, they hardly find friends there, as they cannot connect with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
language;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, it is
really
difficult for them to cope up with the new environment.
Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
faces several problems,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
allocate more budget for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age allowances; that might be an extra burden for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
economy.

To sum up,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
abroad in the hope of having a great time with family or a secure life.
However
, they face problems in making a convenient environment for them due to the differences between their cultures and traditions, and put pressure on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
too.
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IELTS essay People have tendency to move abroad after retirement. What are the reasons behind this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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