Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think students should should spend time on important subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think students should should spend time on important subjects. OLeM
It is believed by some that students should learn how to cook various food, whereas others think they are better to focus on more important areas of their study. From my personal standpoint, despite the benefits it has when students concentrate only on their lessons, studying the science of food is an essential life skill, which can be really helpful throughout the life. Some people argue that students should not study the science of food and instead put more effort into their important subjects. The reason for this is that learning more subjects in school will shorten the students' leisure time. Therefore, they have to carry more stress and anxiety and it results in a declined performance in all areas in school. For instance, a group of scientists found out in a normal school in Iran, students who tended not to learn any additional subjects had more healthier life and also had better scores. However, later in life, knowing. how to make food can be advantageous. Most importantly, although preparing a meal can be time comsuming, it is significantly cheaper than outside food. Secondly, it is considered as a very important life skill, because students do not have to be dependent on their parents anymore. Not only that, but also students will learn how to do shopping and will also be getting more familiar with ingredients, which can be useful when living alone later in their lives. From my perspective, it has become a vital thing for students to study the science of food and how to make a meal, I believe, since parents are getting older, it is indulging to help them in some tasks. Hence, being able to cook can dramatically decline the pressure on the parents. In conclusion, although pursuing more important subjects can help students have less concerns and stress, some lessons need to be learned for sake of good such as learning how to cook. This way not only will it save money but also it will make students one step closer to becoming more independent.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should learn how to cook various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, whereas others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they are better to focus on more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
areas of their study. From my personal standpoint, despite the benefits it has when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
concentrate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on their lessons, studying the science of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is an essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, which can be
really
helpful throughout the life.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should not study the science of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
instead
put more effort into their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
The reason for this is
that learning more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in school will shorten the students' leisure time.
Therefore
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
carry more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and anxiety and it results in a declined performance in all areas in school.
For instance
, a group of scientists
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "finds", "founds"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'found' is not always incorrect.)
found
out in a normal school in Iran,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who tended not to learn any additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
had
Use only "healthier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more healthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
also
had better scores.

However
, later in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, knowing.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
how
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
can be advantageous. Most
importantly
, although preparing a meal can be time
Possible spelling mistake found.
comsuming
, it is
significantly
cheaper than outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Secondly
, it
is considered
as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be dependent on their parents anymore. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will learn how to
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go shopping".
do shopping
and will
also
be getting more familiar with ingredients, which can be useful when living alone later in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

From my perspective, it has become a vital thing for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to study the science of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a meal, I believe, since parents are getting older, it is indulging to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tasks.
Hence
, being able to cook can
dramatically
decline the pressure on the parents.

In conclusion
, although pursuing more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun concerns is countable.
less
concerns and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
lessons need to
be learned
for sake of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
such as learning how to cook. This way not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will it save money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
one step closer to becoming more independent.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think students should should spend time on important subjects.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
341 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts