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People have different views about that making money in the business activity make social responsibilites for them.

People have different views about that making money in the business activity make social responsibilites for them. kb0N2
People have different views about that making money in the business activity make social responsibilites for them. I personally agree with this trend. Today business companies have grow in the whole world. Despite of this growing, their social responsibilities have grown up too. Firstly these companies have to hire many people as worker so transportaion increase. These companies must provid public vehicle for their workers. To illustrat if any workers use them car, The traffic will increas. The other views are that business companie have an important role in making jobs for country. Businesses have to make a different position job and hire. Unemployment people for this accupation. If number of unemployment people decline in the country, The living quality will increase. In conclusion, the following evident we can see above, I personally believe that any businusses have to do their role about their social responsibilites for having a calm life togeather.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about that making money in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
activity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
social
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsibilites
for them. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this trend.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have
Use past participle here: "grown".
grow
in the whole world.
Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
this growing, their social responsibilities have grown up too.
Firstly
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
hire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as worker
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Possible spelling mistake found.
transportaion
increase. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
Possible spelling mistake found.
provid
public vehicle for their workers. To
Possible spelling mistake found.
illustrat
if any workers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them car, The traffic will
Possible spelling mistake found.
increas
. The other views are that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
Possible spelling mistake found.
companie
have an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in making jobs for country.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Businesses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
position job and hire. Unemployment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for this
Possible spelling mistake found.
accupation
. If number of unemployment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
decline in the country, The living quality will increase.
In conclusion
, the following evident we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
above, I
personally
believe that any
Possible spelling mistake found.
businusses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do their role about their social
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsibilites
for having a calm life
Possible spelling mistake found.
togeather
.
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IELTS essay People have different views about that making money in the business activity make social responsibilites for them.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
152 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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