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Money spent on Space Exploration is an absolute waste and could be instead used to solve/fund other urgent problems in society. To what extent do you agree to the above statement?

Money spent on Space Exploration is an absolute waste and could be instead used to solve/fund other urgent problems in society. gxXP7
Expenditure on space research is just a loss of finances when it could be invested in resolving other immediate social predicaments. We partially disagree with this notion as space exploration is vital and plays a crucial role in science. This essay aims to discuss these points in greater detail. First and foremost, space exploration is crucial for science. If it wasn't for the thirst to look deep into space we would never have been able to learn about our galaxy, its edges, black holes, all the other planets surrounding it, about the births of stars, the origin of our galaxy etc. Space exploration can aid us in resolving current problems. We may find an alternate way to produce crude oil or we may find a planet habitable for humanity. We had started extracting minerals, metals, fossil fuels and other raw materials from our planet for decades and there will be a time when we have exhausted its resources. By that time we might need to migrate to another planet or find a way to address these problems by finding other sources of raw materials. Though, space exploration is vital for science it comes with a hefty financial expenditure. Instead, this investment can be utilized effectively towards more pressing issues of current society. For instance, we could use this large sum of money and build projects that provide clean water and green electricity as such fundamental necessities are still not available in many countries. Education and healthcare systems are always in need of funding and humanity can immediately start leveraging its benefits. We can decrease the cutting of forests and increase plantations, give more effort into converting barren land to forest. We can use the finance to help fund NGOs fighting deforestation, excessive fishing, industrial waste, global warming etc. To conclude, funds invested in space exploration is a total lossy investment as it could have been put to better use with other immediate social problems. In my opinion, this statement is partially agreeable and the facts supporting this are explained in the above paragraphs.
Expenditure on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
research is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a loss of finances when it could
be invested
in resolving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
immediate social predicaments. We
partially
disagree with this notion as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
is vital and plays a crucial role in science. This essay aims to discuss these points in greater detail.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
is crucial for science. If it wasn't for the thirst to look deep into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
we would never have been able to learn about our galaxy, its edges, black holes, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planets
surrounding it, about the births of stars, the origin of our galaxy etc.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
can aid us in resolving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
problems. We may find an alternate way to produce crude
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
oil or
we may find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
habitable for humanity. We had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
extracting minerals, metals, fossil fuels and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
raw materials from our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
for decades and there will be a time when we have exhausted its resources. By that time we might need to migrate to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
or find a way to address these problems by finding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sources of raw materials.

Though,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
is vital for science it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with a hefty financial expenditure.
Instead
, this investment can
be utilized
effectively
towards more pressing issues of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
society.
For instance
, we could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this large sum of money and build projects that provide clean water and green electricity as such fundamental necessities are
still
not available in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. Education and healthcare systems are always in need of funding and humanity can immediately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
leveraging its benefits. We can decrease the cutting of forests and increase plantations, give more effort into converting barren land to forest. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the finance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
fund NGOs fighting deforestation, excessive fishing, industrial waste, global warming etc.

To conclude
, funds invested in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
is a total lossy investment as it could have
been put
to better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
immediate social problems. In my opinion, this statement is
partially
agreeable and the facts supporting this are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
in the above paragraphs.
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IELTS essay Money spent on Space Exploration is an absolute waste and could be instead used to solve/fund other urgent problems in society.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Money spent on Space Exploration is an absolute waste and could be instead used to solve/fund other urgent problems in society. To what extent do you agree to the above statement?