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People get into debt by buying things they don't need and can't afford

People get into debt by buying things they don't need and can't afford mYOL
It is now possible to get much more credits than before to buy all things that we ant but we don’t necessarily afford. This brings various benefits but also a considerable number of disadvantages. The system in which we live that is based on capitalism and consumerism makes us want to buy more and more every single day. And things that are in fashion are usually more expensive. Even though people can afford these new products, they can surely go to the bank and get a credit to but them. The main pro about this is that you get everything you want, but the main con is that you get into a debt. Sadly, peoples salaries are not as they supposed to be. And this is why the only solution for affording necessary products or even products that we don’t need but that we want is to get a bank credit. For example, I’m willing to go study abroad at the UK. But unfortunately I can not afford living in one of the most expensive cities of the world and it is impossible for me to pay the tuition of the school I want to go. Thats why I asked for a credit in a bank. The main action to prevent this kind of situations is to buy just the necessary things and leave behind the things we want but we do not need. Also, credits should be more flexible with the interest, because mainly there are between 16% and 17%. These percentages should be much more lower so people can pay their debts faster.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
much more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
credits
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
all things that we ant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we don’t
necessarily
afford. This brings various benefits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a considerable number of disadvantages.

The system in which we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
that
is based
on capitalism and consumerism
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
more and more every single day. And things that are in fashion are
usually
more expensive.
Even though
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can afford these new products, they can
surely
go to the bank and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
credit
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
them. The main pro about this is that you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
everything you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the main con is that you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into a debt.

Sadly
, peoples salaries are not as they supposed to be. And this is why the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
solution for affording necessary products or even products that we don’t need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a bank credit.

For example
, I’m willing to go study abroad at the UK.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
unfortunately I can not afford living in one of the most expensive cities of the world and it is impossible for me to pay the tuition of the school I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to go.
Possible spelling mistake found
Thats
why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
asked for
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
credit
in a bank.

The main action to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this kind of situations is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the necessary things and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
behind the things we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we do not need.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
credits
should be more flexible with the interest,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
mainly
there are between 16% and 17%. These percentages should be much
Use only "lower" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more lower
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can pay their debts faster.
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IELTS essay People get into debt by buying things they don't need and can't afford

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
265 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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