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People continue to commit crimes even after being punished for it. Why do you think this happens? How can crime be stopped?

It is true that some criminals do their pervious jobs like robbery or other illegal actions again after they have been punished. The fact that most ex-convicts are unemployed due to lack of their knowledge. Therefore, organizing a kind of training program to learn new skills in prison is a workable way in my opinion. Admittedly, it is not secret to watch on TV or even meet offenders who commit crime severally, nevertheless they have prisoned before. One of the main reasons is that majority of them are unable to find well paid employment. If people with a criminal record are not accepted by society, this case will also lead to increase the number of lawbreaker. According to recently survey of Mexico Police Department, more than two thirds of attenders selected unemployment as a reason, for example. An effective way to avoid such a negative occasion is that the prisoners should be educated with a new craft and helped to find an appropriate job. This could be in the form of rehabilitate program and it should be arranged by special organization of the Government until these people rejoined in the society. The continuously teaching that supported and established by Japanese Ministry of Justice for their prisoned population, could be a striking example, I think. To conclude, the shortage of job places as well as required skills cause to re-commit crime in many options. That is why, I support it would be a good idea to create both new job opportunities and rehabilitation programs among ex-convicts before they re-joining society.
It is true that
some
criminals do their
pervious
jobs
like robbery or other illegal actions again after they have
been punished
. The fact that most ex-convicts
are unemployed
due to lack of their knowledge.
Therefore
, organizing a kind of training program to learn new
skills
in prison is a
workable
way in my opinion.

Admittedly
, it is not secret to
watch
on TV or even
meet
offenders who commit crime
severally
,
nevertheless
they have
prisoned
before
. One of the main reasons is that majority of them are unable to find well paid employment. If
people
with a criminal record are not
accepted
by society, this case will
also
lead to increase the number of lawbreaker. According to recently survey of Mexico Police Department, more than two thirds of attenders selected unemployment as a reason,
for example
.

An effective way to avoid such a
negative
occasion is that the prisoners should
be educated
with a new craft and
helped
to find an appropriate
job
. This could be in the form of rehabilitate
program and
it should
be arranged
by special organization of the
Government
until these
people
rejoined in the society. The
continuously
teaching that supported and established by Japanese Ministry of Justice for their
prisoned
population, could be a striking example, I
think
.

To conclude
, the shortage of
job
places
as well
as required
skills
cause to re-commit crime in
many
options.
That is
why, I support it would be a
good
idea
to create both new
job
opportunities and rehabilitation programs among ex-convicts
before
they re-joining society.
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IELTS essay People continue to commit crimes even after being punished for it. Why do you think this happens? How can crime be stopped?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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