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Some people think success can be measured from intelligence of a person,while others belive there are more factors to be successful,give ur opinion

Itis believed by some people that success of a person can be linked to his or her intelligence; however, others claim that only intelligence does not account behind someone’s success, still there are number of factors to be considered. I do believe so. This essay will discuss different other factors which are quantitatively mor important than merely intelligence of a successful person.  Histoy has put various examples of those people who's achievements are worth appreciating. Some of them are intelligent by-birth but others despite facing huge and repeated failures got success eventually. Their success is attributed to not only intelligence but due to strong will-power, determination and consistency they reach far futher than anyone else. Examples can be taken of many doctors, enterpreneurs and also scientists who strived at their utmost to be famous and successful. Additionally, some other factors which are also quite necessary for someone to be successful along with intelligence are availability of resources at the right time and valuable guidance. Perhaps, a person being only wise and intelligent and without implementing his or her efforts can never get enough success. In other words, all of the successful persons were not intelligent since beginning. To conclude, story of success of someone can not be assessed from their intelligence solely. Hardwork and diligence are rather more crucial factors to achieve success.
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Itis
believed by
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some
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people
that
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success
of a
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person
can
be linked
to
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his or her
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intelligence
;
however
, others claim that
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only
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intelligence
does not account behind someone’s
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success
,
still
there are
It seems that an article is missing. Did you mean “a number of”?
number of
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factors
to
be considered
. I do believe
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so
. This essay will discuss
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different
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other
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factors
which are
quantitatively
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mor
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important
than
merely
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intelligence
of a successful
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person
.  
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Histoy
has put various examples of those
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people
Did you mean “whose”?
who's
achievements are worth appreciating.
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Some
of them are intelligent by-birth
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but
others despite facing huge and repeated failures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
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success
eventually
. Their
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success
is attributed
to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
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intelligence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
due to strong will-power, determination and consistency they reach far
Possible spelling mistake found.
futher
than anyone else. Examples can
be taken
of
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many
doctors,
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enterpreneurs
and
also
scientists who strived at their utmost to be
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famous
and successful.

Additionally
,
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some
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other
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factors
which are
also
quite necessary for someone to be successful along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
are availability of resources at the right time and valuable guidance. Perhaps, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
wise and intelligent and without implementing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
efforts can never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
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enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. In
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other
words,
Consider using “all the”.
all of the
successful
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persons
were not intelligent since beginning.
To conclude
, story of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
of someone can not
be assessed
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
solely
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hardwork
and diligence are
rather
more crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
to achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
.

IELTS essay Some people think success can be measured from intelligence of a person, while others belive there are more factors to be successful, give ur opinion

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
223 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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