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People can prepare various types of foods easily and in less time nowadays. What contributed to this improvement and has this development changed the way we live? v.2

People can prepare various types of foods easily and in less time nowadays. What contributed to this improvement and has this development changed the way we live? v. 2
When the world is moving very fast with the new technologies,   new equipment has been introduced to make the life easier. This has been effect in food preparation process also. Hence food is one of the major need, people are willing to enjoy different flavours in easy manner time to time. As mentioned earlier, new equipment has been introduced and it will lead to saving time when preparing foods. Those days’ traditional methods took several hours to cook foods. Equipment like food processor can use to multiple tasks like blending, chopping, slicing and so on. Therefore preparing foods very easily is not a secret anymore. So the saved time can be used for many other extra activities like studying, entertaining, reading and so on. Secondly, instant foods have been widely spread among people, specially, university students and employees who are staying away from families. Instead of enjoying outside foods people are willing to prepare foods for them. By reading the given instructions, instant foods can be prepared even without knowing anything. Even though these foods are not much good for health, still it’s far better than restaurants or outdoor foods. So again live has changed and improved. Children are willing to enjoy a variety of foods. But modern mums are very busy with the fast running world. They don’t have time to try new foods by themselves. But the new lifestyle has been introduced different kinds of foods using the same old recipe with the new taste. Kids will enjoy these homemade foods as its special gift from their loving mums. Therefore interrelation between family members has been improved eventually. As a conclusion, my thought is while giving priority to healthy wealthy foods people have to prepare them. No matter how far foods have become easier to prepare, if it’s not good for our health ultimate result will not help to improve people's live.
When the world is moving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technologies,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
equipment has
been introduced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the life easier. This has been effect in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
preparation process
also
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is one of the major need,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are willing to enjoy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavours' is British English.
flavours
in easy manner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to time.

As mentioned earlier,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
equipment has
been introduced
and it will lead to saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
when preparing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. Those days’ traditional methods took several hours to cook
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. Equipment like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
processor can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to multiple tasks like blending, chopping, slicing and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
preparing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easily
is not a secret anymore.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the saved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other extra activities like studying, entertaining, reading and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

Secondly
, instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
have been
widely
spread among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
specially
, university students and employees who are staying away from families.
Instead
of enjoying outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are willing to prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
for them. By reading the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
instructions, instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
can
be prepared
even without knowing anything.
Even though
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are not much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for health,
still
it’s far better than restaurants or outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
again
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
.

Children are willing to enjoy a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
modern
Possible spelling mistake found.
mums
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
busy with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
running world. They don’t have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
by themselves.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
lifestyle has
been introduced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
using the same
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
recipe with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
taste. Kids will enjoy these homemade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
as its special gift from their loving
Possible spelling mistake found.
mums
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
interrelation between family members has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
eventually
.

As a conclusion, my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
is while giving priority to healthy wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
prepare them. No matter how far
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
have become easier to prepare, if it’s not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for our health ultimate result will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay People can prepare various types of foods easily and in less time nowadays. What contributed to this improvement and has this development changed the way we live? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
315 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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