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People can be leader do you agree or disagree ?

People can be leader do you agree or disagree ? Wm2aq
It is irrefutable that, the higher position is prevantaly conducted by elder people and, as a result, they have adequate knowledge and guidance conveniently. Nevertheless, others insist that teenagers are also eligible to become good leader. I do agree with this vital decision and the following criteria will be discussed. To begin with, first and foremost, young individuals has a better understanding of modern technology and, also more capable to go through with the contemporary era. In addition, if the young generation has better believing towards other youngsters consequently they fulfil every demand, requirements and accumulate themselves with the community. For instance, if young people are in politics consequently they sufficiently ameliorate numerous things. Furthermore, young civilization is more mentally and physically fit, as well as diligent as compared to oldish people. For example, despite senior citizens, young individuals do a plethora of work in few hours, but older people need some time to do work because they have to take care of themselves otherwise, it gives a detrimental effect on well being. In contrast, firstly, senior citizens have extra work experience and, they can endorse any age of individuals whether it is older or younger ones, on the contrary younger people only acknowledge other young civilians. Secondly, not only they have work experience, others on the contrary also can motivate others with their adroit. To illustrate, the most well-known senior citizens who run the whole country nowadays in a perfect way is the honourable prime minister Narendra Modi and also well-known personality in industries Rattan Tata and numbers of people. To sum up, even though, the juvenile is perfect in their way and to become a leader it entirely depends on personal preference thoughts, ancient civilization already have that unyielding point consequently they never lose in the path.
It is irrefutable that, the higher position is
Possible spelling mistake found.
prevantaly
conducted by elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and,
as a result
, they have adequate knowledge and guidance
conveniently
.
Nevertheless
, others insist that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are
also
eligible to become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
leader. I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this vital decision and the following criteria will
be discussed
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
first
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
individuals has a better understanding of modern technology and,
also
more capable to go through with the contemporary era.
In addition
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation has better believing towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
youngsters
consequently
they fulfil every demand, requirements and accumulate themselves with the community.
For instance
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are in politics
consequently
they
sufficiently
ameliorate numerous things.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
civilization is more mentally and
physically
fit,
as well
as diligent as compared to oldish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, despite senior citizens,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
individuals do a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in few hours,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take care of themselves
otherwise
, it gives a detrimental effect on
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
.

In contrast
,
firstly
, senior citizens have extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience and, they can endorse any age of individuals whether it is older or younger ones,
on the contrary
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
acknowledge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
civilians.
Secondly
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience, others
on the contrary
also
can motivate others with their adroit. To illustrate, the most well-known senior citizens who run the whole country nowadays
Consider replacing "in a perfect way" with the adverb for "perfect"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a perfect way
is the
Possible spelling mistake found.
honourable
prime minister Narendra
Possible spelling mistake found.
Modi
and
also
well-known personality in industries Rattan Tata and numbers of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To sum up,
even though
, the juvenile is perfect in their way and to become a leader it
entirely
depends on personal preference thoughts, ancient civilization already have that unyielding point
consequently
they never lose in the path.
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IELTS essay People can be leader do you agree or disagree ?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
299 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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