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people buy junk food, they have to be controlled

people buy junk food, they have to be controlled 2x9wM
Nowadays, a high number of people suffer from junk products such as food and drinks as a result of the high levels of sugar that it contains. Some people believe that it depends on the person and no one has the right to control that. But in my opinion, there are situations that people have to be controlled or otherwise, that would impact the whole community. Firstly, one main reason why people may buy junk food is that it is tasty, cheap, and easy to make. These days, most of the new restaurants are for fast food, because of the high number of orders on it. That caused a big problem which is that people just eat what they found tasty, they don't look at the calories that the food contains, they don't notice how this food has been made, they just enjoy the taste of it. Therefore, that moved us to an important point, which is about how should we control junk products. In my point of view the government have the most power in controlling the products, they can simply increase the price of the products that are considered unhealthy. They might also limit those products from the general market, or they can add high taxes on the fast-food restaurants. On the other hand, they also have to support the healthy side, By encouraging people to buy more healthy food. that would definitely make a big change for public health. In conclusion, I would like to advise people who are addicted to fast food, that they should be more careful about what they eat or drink, that will help them a lot to enhance their lives.
Nowadays, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer from junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and drinks
as a result
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
levels of sugar that it contains.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it depends on the person and no one has the right to control that.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in my opinion, there are situations that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be controlled
or
otherwise
, that would impact the whole community.

Firstly
, one main reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is that it is tasty,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
, and easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
. These days, most of the new restaurants are for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
number of orders on it. That caused a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem which is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
eat what they found tasty, they don't look at the calories that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
contains, they don't notice how this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has
been made
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
enjoy the taste of it.
Therefore
, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
us to an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
point, which is about how should we control junk products.

In my point of view the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
have the most power in controlling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, they can
simply
increase the price of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that
are considered
unhealthy.

They might
also
limit those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from the general market, or they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
taxes on the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food restaurants.
On the other hand
, they
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
support the healthy side, By encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
more healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
that
would definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
for public health.

In conclusion
, I would like to advise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
are addicted
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, that they should be more careful about what they eat or drink, that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them a lot to enhance their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
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IELTS essay people buy junk food, they have to be controlled

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
278 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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