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PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT HAVING WEALTH BRING HAPPINESS IN LIFE. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU ARGREE WITH THIS STATEMENT?

PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT HAVING WEALTH BRING HAPPINESS IN LIFE. 7J6E6

Society have different opinion about the accumulation of wealth. Some people may think that financial security will bring happiness in life while many others have an opposite view. In my perspective, savings are always beneficial for the well being. However, beyond certain point, they might adversely affect the normal life. This essay will first examine how monetary assets helps in personal satisfaction before discussing its counter effects.

Society Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "has".has
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:various
different
 opinion about the accumulation of wealth. This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
 may This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :reckonassumebelieveconsider
think
 that financial security will bring happiness in life while This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
many
 others have an opposite view. In my perspective, savings are always beneficial for the This word is normally spelled with hyphen.well-being
well being
. However
, beyond certain point, they might adversely
 affect the normal life. This essay will first
 examine how monetary assets This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :assists
helps
 in personal satisfaction This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:previouslyprior to
before
 discussing its counter effects. 

IELTS essay PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT HAVING WEALTH BRING HAPPINESS IN LIFE.

Essay

American English

1 paragraphs

67 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
Include an introduction and conclusion
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 5.5

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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