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people are taking up online shopping instead of conventional shopping

people are taking up online shopping instead of conventional shopping kea2K
Nowadays, with numerous shopping apps and websites, it has become easier to shop for particular items. Due to this fact, many people choose to shop online instead of going to physical stores. Some of the reasons could be reasonable prices, availability of offers, avoiding being out and busy schedules, etc. We shall be discussing these points briefly. Comparing the prices both online and offline, we could see vast differences in the range. Online stores provide more comprehensive collections than offline stores with reasonable tags. So, ordinary people find it affordable to make any purchase without much hesitation. Also, huge discounts on occasions draw the attention of shoppers, just like the app Myntra. After the hectic working days, people prefer to stay up at home, relaxing and resting, instead of visiting a mall or a store. That’s when they choose to buy online. It is easy as well as faster in delivery. Hence, one would definitely choose trouble-free shopping. Nonetheless, everything has its drawbacks. Sometimes, fake products are delivered with no return options. Therefore, it can prove to be doubtful to purchase online. There was a viral incident about a person who purchased a mobile phone from Amazon. The item was found to be broken. These kinds of incidents keep on happening, due to which people are afraid and hesitant to make any purchase online. Apart from it, online shopping seems fine and effortless. In conclusion, people have adapted to online shopping because it is untroubled and straightforward. Also, if any problem arises, customer care is always available to sort out the doubts and difficulties. We can be relaxing at home, unlike conventional shopping forces us to get out of our homes.
Nowadays, with numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
apps and websites, it has become easier to shop for particular items. Due to this fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to shop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
instead
of going to physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
reasons could be reasonable prices, availability of offers, avoiding being out and busy schedules, etc. We shall be discussing these points
briefly
.

Comparing the prices both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and offline, we could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
vast differences in the range.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
provide more comprehensive collections than offline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
with reasonable tags.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find it affordable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
without much hesitation.
Also
, huge discounts on occasions draw the attention of shoppers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like the app
Possible spelling mistake found.
Myntra
.

After the hectic working days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to stay up at home, relaxing and resting,
instead
of visiting a mall or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
. That’s when they choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. It is easy
as well
as faster in delivery.
Hence
, one would definitely choose trouble-free shopping.

Nonetheless, everything has its drawbacks.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, fake products
are delivered
with no return options.
Therefore
, it can prove to be doubtful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. There was a viral incident about a person who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
a mobile phone from Amazon. The item
was found
to
be broken
. These kinds of incidents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on happening, due to which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are afraid and hesitant to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. Apart from it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
seems fine and effortless.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have adapted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
is untroubled
and straightforward.
Also
, if any problem arises, customer care is always available to sort out the doubts and difficulties. We can be relaxing at home, unlike conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
forces us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of our homes.
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IELTS essay people are taking up online shopping instead of conventional shopping

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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