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People are surrounded by advertising , which has an increasing effect on our lives. Do you think the positive effects of advertising outweigh disadvantages?

People are surrounded by advertising, which has an increasing effect on our lives. Do you think the positive effects of advertising outweigh disadvantages? B2K9
Advertising helps people by providing useful contents. It has a major influence on an ideology of a person about products. Some people think that adverts are essential to gain knowledge about products. while, there are others who criticise them for generating fake needs inside them. In my opinion, drawbacks of advertising outweigh its benefits. To commence with, advertisement creates fake needs inside people. To elaborate, many multinational companies such as apple, tata showcase their products through the medium of media. Meanwhile, they use the best animations and actors who have positive image on people, in order to lure them to buy the product. As a result, they not only end up buying the product but also, compromising their budget on a good which is less likely to be worth it. To cite an example, apple company is effortlessly selling their goods worth lacs of rupees just by running marketing campaigns Furthermore, adverts targeting to children affect ideology of children. As they do not have maturity to identify what is good and what is wrong, myriad companies take this as an opportunity to earn money. For example, McDonaldo, a fastfood company, has already tempted many children to consume their foods by showing tasty foods on the television, which are not good for their health. On the other hand, It should never be forgotten that key role of advertisements is to teach people about newly launched and old items available in the market. Adverts are essential specially when we do not have time to wander around and compare the products. Alse, sometimes, they provide information about environmental impact of the product which is necessary for our understanding regarding product. In addition, They employ many actors, supporting staff and cricketers. To conclude, advetising is a key source to get information related to product. Although, excepting few products most of them are hurtful and luring.
Advertising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by providing useful contents. It has a major influence on

an ideology of a person about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that adverts are essential

to gain knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
, there are others who
Possible spelling mistake. 'criticise' is British English.
criticise
them for

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
generating
fake needs inside them.

In my opinion, drawbacks of advertising outweigh its benefits.

To commence with, advertisement creates fake needs inside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. To elaborate,
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
many


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
such as apple,
Possible spelling mistake found.
tata
showcase their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
through the medium

of media. Meanwhile, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the best animations and actors who have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
image

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, in order to lure them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
As a result
, they not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
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end
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
up


buying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
, compromising their budget on a
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good
which is less likely

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
be worth it. To cite an example, apple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is
effortlessly
selling their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods


worth
Possible spelling mistake found.
lacs
of rupees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by running marketing
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
campaigns


Furthermore
, adverts targeting to children affect ideology of children. As they do not
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
have


maturity to identify what is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and what is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, myriad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
take this as an

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
opportunity
to earn money.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
McDonaldo
, a
Possible spelling mistake found.
fastfood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, has already tempted

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children to consume their foods by showing tasty foods on the television,

which are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for their health.

On the other hand
, It should never
be forgotten
that key role of advertisements is to teach

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about
newly
launched and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
items available in the market. Adverts are essential

specially
when we do not have time to wander around and compare the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Alse
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
,

they provide information about environmental impact of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
which is necessary for

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
our
understanding regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
In addition
, They employ
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
actors, supporting
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
staff


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
cricketers.

To conclude
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
advetising
is a key source to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
information related to product.

Although, excepting few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
most of them are hurtful and luring.
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IELTS essay People are surrounded by advertising, which has an increasing effect on our lives. Do you think the positive effects of advertising outweigh disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
18 paragraphs
311 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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