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People are spending less time with their family

People are spending less time with their family KVGD3
Life contains serious upheavals which drags people down and plays them like a fool. At that time, family is still a strong support to get over difficulties. More and more people do not have enough time with their family. This essay will suggest the principal cause of these issues and provide possible solutions. To begin with, there are two main causes for spending less time with family that is increasing demand for work and having troubles with relationship members. The development of technology turns a new page for people to get a job as well as study. They had a hectic schedule which included time to go to university, extracurricular activities, deadlines for homework, . . . etc. People give excess time to the internet rather than family. Especially, youngsters spent most of their time online chatting and gaming with friends and even with strangers. A survey found out that teenagers are only physically present at parties and family gatherings, not mentally. All of the time, they are busy playing games on their phones. People take a little time because of family conflicts. Family conflict develops when members of a family have different beliefs or viewpoints, when people misunderstand one another, when someone gets hurt feelings and develops resentment. For instance, parental conflict is common in many families and often leads to friction involving the entire family. Most parental problems revolve around financial matters with low income and no ability to expenses daily. And they lost themself in all these fights and did not want to spend hours every day together. Some possible solutions to these problems are life balance and sympathy with members of the family. By keeping an organized schedule, people will save time looking for things and will have more time with their family to cluster round together. Moreover, families also should share feelings, secrets and problems which can help them get on well with each other. The sense of similarity yields psychological affirmation and one has the satisfaction of being together with like-minded people. In Conclusion, demand for jobs and opposite opinions are the reason behind the shrinking of family time. However, we can significantly measure this by maintaining proper work and trying to sympathize with each other. This sense of similarity yields psychological affirmation and one has the satisfaction of being together with like-minded people.
Life contains serious upheavals which drags
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
down and plays them like a fool. At that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is
still
a strong support to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
over difficulties. More and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. This essay will suggest the principal cause of these issues and provide possible solutions.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are two main causes for spending less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
that is
increasing demand for work and having troubles with relationship members. The development of technology turns a new page for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job
as well
as study. They had a hectic schedule which included
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to go to university, extracurricular activities, deadlines for homework
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
etc
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
give excess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to the internet
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Especially
, youngsters spent most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
online chatting and gaming with friends and even with strangers. A survey found out that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
physically
present at parties and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
gatherings, not mentally.
Consider using "all the".
All of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, they are busy playing games on their phones.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
take a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
conflicts.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Family
conflict develops when members of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
beliefs or viewpoints, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
misunderstand one another, when someone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
hurt feelings and develops resentment.
For instance
, parental conflict is common in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
leads to friction involving the entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Most parental problems revolve around financial matters with low income and no ability to expenses daily. And they lost
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
in all these fights and did not want to spend hours every day together.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
possible solutions to these problems are life balance and sympathy with members of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. By keeping an organized schedule,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
looking for things and will have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to cluster round together.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
also
should share feelings, secrets and problems which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
on well with each other. The sense of similarity yields psychological affirmation and one has the satisfaction of being together with like-minded
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In Conclusion
, demand for jobs and opposite opinions are the reason behind the shrinking of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
However
, we can
significantly
measure this by maintaining proper work and trying to sympathize with each other.

This sense of similarity yields psychological affirmation and one has the satisfaction of being together with like-minded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.

IELTS essay People are spending less time with their family

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
390 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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