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Doing unpaid work, helping poor communities

Doing unpaid work, helping poor communities Ql2D9
It is in fact that an increasing number of young people from rich nations are volunteering in impoverished areas. After analyzing this tendency, a tons of reasons and its benefits for both communities and volunteer themselves are found. These following will explain why the young are tending to travel to low-income countries to do unpaid work. For one reason, these individuals wish to demonstrate their responsibilities to developing nations in a variety of ways, including via teaching and the construction of housing which those countries lack a workforce and yet cannot afford to pay. Many high school graduates, for example, have chosen to travel to Southeast Asian nations to assist other kids in learning English before beginning university. Furthermore, working in a different nation allows them to get vital experience that they would not be able to obtain in their own country. In this way, young people can obtain numerous things in life which is worth much more than money. Take everything into account, it is true that more and more young people in rich countries are volunteering in disadvantaged areas. This movements not only brings about many advantages for volunteers but also for the communities.
It is in fact that an increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are volunteering in impoverished areas. After analyzing this tendency,
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a ton" or simply "tons"?
a tons
of reasons and its benefits for both communities and volunteer themselves
are found
.

These following will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
are tending to travel to low-income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to do unpaid work. For one reason, these individuals wish to demonstrate their responsibilities to developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
in a variety of ways, including via teaching and the construction of housing which those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
lack a workforce and
yet
cannot afford to pay.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
high school graduates,
for example
, have chosen to travel to Southeast Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
to assist other kids in learning English
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
beginning university.
Furthermore
, working in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
vital experience that they would not be able to obtain in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. In this way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can obtain numerous things in life which is worth much more than money.

Take everything into account, it is true that more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are volunteering in disadvantaged areas.
Did you mean "these"?
This
movements not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
brings about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages for volunteers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for the communities.
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IELTS essay Doing unpaid work, helping poor communities

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
196 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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