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people are not active as they were before.

people are not active as they were before. 0pPx5
People are not fit as they wear earlier because of sedentary lifestyle Government can organize fitness programs to motivate people. Firstly, the major reason for less active people is their lifestyle Earlier, people used to get up early in the morning and work in their fields; however machines were not used. Now occupations are different, people sit for longer hours in offices The tasks which require physical efforts are performed by machines. For example, people wash their clothes with automatic machines; nevertheless they used to do this manually. Secondly, the best way to motivate people to stay fit and active is fitness programs. Authorities can start bodybuilding and running competition to encourage people. They can reward the winners with good prizes. for example. Canadian government organize marathons for civilians this has motivated people to stay fit. Therefore, Canadians are more fit than other population. In conclusion, people used to be active because their lifestyle was better. Now they are less involved in physical activities " however, government can encourage them by organizing competitions and programs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are not fit as they wear earlier

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of sedentary lifestyle

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
can organize fitness

programs to motivate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Firstly
, the major reason for less

active
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
their lifestyle

Earlier,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
up early

in the morning and work in their

fields;
however
machines were not

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
occupations are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
,

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
sit for longer hours in offices

The tasks which require physical

efforts
are performed
by machines.

For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
wash their clothes

with automatic machines;
nevertheless


they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to do this
manually
.

Secondly
, the best way to motivate

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to stay fit and active is

fitness programs. Authorities can

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
bodybuilding and running

competition to encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

They can reward the winners with

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
prizes.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example.

Canadian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
organize

marathons for civilians this has

motivated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to stay fit.
Therefore
,

Canadians are more

fit than other population.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be active

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their lifestyle was better.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
they are less involved in physical

activities
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can encourage

them by organizing competitions and

programs
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IELTS essay people are not active as they were before.

Essay
  American English
10 paragraphs
174 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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