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People are living longer. Some people think that it causes big problems. Others, however, think the aging population has many advantages for business, government and for society in general. 2

People are living longer. Some people think that it causes big problems. Others, however, think the aging population has many advantages for business, government and for society in general. 2 r8L2n
Mankind has developed new ways to take care of himself, one of the most important is staying healthy. I want to show how this can change the society, and also answer to the question: It's something good? Firstly the effect of this choice is really important for old people, in fact their bodies need to be fixed most frequently by doctors. However scientific researches have proved that aging effects are caused by inflammation processes into the body. This could be countered, making it slower, by staying healthy. This is the first reason to stay healthy. On the other hand not only the old people should think about this, indeed also the rest of the population should do it, because this influences jobs and studying performance. Science has confirmed these theories, in fact have a balanced diet and do often physical activities, increases not only the quality of work, but also allow to stay focused more time, making you faster. This is the second reason. Moreover you should stay healthy for the society. I mean that a lot of medical forces are used to solve problems like obesity, diabet and cholesterol, that you could often avoid, thanks to some good choices, and permit to sanitary sistem to be focused on the medical issues that couldn't be prevented. This is important, especially in this period, i think. In conclusion my answer to the question is: yes I think this could be only something useful, for a lot of reason. This is confirmed another time by the holy medicine law: The prevention is better than the cure.
Mankind has developed new ways to take care of himself, one of the most
important
is staying healthy. I want to
show
how this can
change
the society, and
also
answer to the question: It's something
good
?

Firstly
the effect of this choice is
really
important
for
old
people
, in fact their bodies need to be
fixed
most
frequently
by doctors.
However
scientific researches have proved that aging effects
are caused
by inflammation processes into the body. This could
be countered
, making it slower, by staying healthy. This is the
first
reason to stay healthy.

On the other hand
not
only
the
old
people
should
think
about this,
indeed
also
the rest of the population should do it,
because
this influences jobs and studying performance. Science has confirmed these theories, in fact have a balanced diet and do
often
physical activities, increases not
only
the quality of work,
but
also
allow
to stay
focused more time, making you faster. This is the second reason.

Moreover
you should stay healthy for the society. I mean that
a lot of
medical forces are
used
to solve problems like obesity,
diabet
and cholesterol, that you could
often
avoid, thanks to
some
good
choices, and permit to sanitary
sistem
to
be focused
on the medical issues that couldn't be
prevented
. This is
important
,
especially
in this period,
i
think
.

In conclusion
my answer to the question is: yes I
think
this could be
only
something useful, for
a lot of
reason. This
is confirmed
another time by the holy medicine law: The prevention is better than the cure.
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IELTS essay People are living longer. Some people think that it causes big problems. Others, however, think the aging population has many advantages for business, government and for society in general. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
264 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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