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people are going canada is it good or bad do u agree with the statement or not

people are going canada is it good or bad do u agree with the statement or not 56a9B
STATEMENT OF EXPLANATION The Visa officer Canadian Embassy Subject: Re-application for a Study permit It is respectfully submitted that I have been granted admission to Durham College of Applied Arts & Technology (DLI # O19361081012), Oshawa Campus, ON, Canada in the field of Project Management at Post Graduate level. My classes are scheduled to commence from May 4, 2020. I applied for a study permit on Feb 12, 2020 (Application # S302956819, UCI # 1115770111). However, to my surprise, my application for a Study Permit was refused by the High Commission of Canada’s letter dated Feb 24, 2020, which read Quote “You have not satisfied me that you would leave Canada at the end of your stay. In reaching this decision, I considered several factors including the purpose of visit. ” In this connection, I would like to address the concerns raised in the above-mentioned letter as follows: The course which I have opted for is occupying an important position in the modern global economy and situations. I being a native of India, many brilliant scholars from my country have studied abroad to polish their skills with foreign teachers and classmates, and this has extensively contributed to the betterment of my country’s economy. With this in mind, I wish to study in Canada to ameliorate my skills and language abilities and become more ambitious in the workplace of the future. To achieve this I have decided to specialize in a single field because Canada has a reputable business sector along with fine management skills and a world-renowned education system. So, it is the ideal site to build my international experience and ready for future challenges. As of my introduction, I would like to introduce myself as Gaurav Singla so Sh. Raj Kumar. I belong to district Barnala Punjab (INDIA). My date of birth is 10th October 1993. I can describe myself as a simple person who is eager to learn about new skills to become a professional manager. I live with my parents and elder sister. My father expired in 2015. My mother is a housewife but she is also running her beauty salon at home and my sister is working as a mathematics teacher at J. V. P School, Barnala. I possess a strong bond with my family. I have completed my Matriculation from Punjab School Education Board, Mohali with 07. 8CGPA, senior secondary in 2014 from the Punjab School Education Board, Mohali while scoring 61. 77% marks and Graduation (B. Pharmacy) in 2018 from I. K Gujral, Jalandhar with 6. 31OCPA. In IELTS I scored 6. 5 bands (overall). WHY CANADA? There are several reasons for choosing Canada over any other country because Canadian education maintains high standards of academic excellence, quality and students from all over the world come here for academic courses. I am fully convinced that Canada is a better option compared to other destinations as it has developed a first-rate education system. Secondly, the Canadian tuition fee is some of the lowest in English-speaking countries. Along with this Canada is also a fantastic place to live as it provides a welcoming and multicultural society with a population that originates from around 50 countries. Moving further, the education system in Canada is very much organized with highly qualified staff which helps raise the quality of education. It’s very good. The things I particularly like about Canada are the cultural diversity, the high standards of education and Canadian’s way of living. It’s a very good idea to pursue higher studies in Canada, only if one is serious about one’s career. So this is the reason, why I have chosen Canada for my further studies. Why Project Management and Durham College? Project Management is a broad subject within the field of Information regulation and managing. It is the practice of initiating, planning, executing, controlling and closing the work of the team to achieve specific goals and meet specific success criteria at the specified time. The major challenge of project management is to achieve all of the project goals within the given constraints and this eight-month, full time, graduate certificate program will provide me more knowledge and practice of more distinct technical skills and management strategies. I would get a chance to learn from well-qualified professors and enhance my ability in the specific field of management. Which would certainly help me to set up my Pharmaceutics industry back to India? Apart from it, the knowledge which I would gain as an international student would aid many other small scale Indian industrialists to achieve their goals by providing the latest techniques of project management. Being a human, I have responsibilities towards society and hence my country. And project management would deliver me various opportunities to serve both by opening various job avenues for the Indian natives. For this, I chose Durham College because it is one of the top colleges in Canada. Durham College exceeds among the other colleges in terms of student satisfaction, quality of services, programming and resources. The facilities offered by the college will help me gain experience, be it social, recreational or personal development. Moreover, this program brings together participants from all over the world, so at Durham College, it would give me a chance to be in contact with diverse cultures and an international network. After being a student at Durham College I am sure that I would grow into a better project manager and an outstanding graduate. I would be extremely lucky to shape my career in an advance manner and I can furnish my knowledge skills which I gained throughout my experiences. FAMILY PROFILE Presently my mother is a housewife but also running her beauty parlor at home. My Sister is working as a mathematics teacher. LIQUID ASSETS I have the following available to me: Ø Tuition fee with the college (full 1 year) INR 8. 29893 LACS Ø Bank savings(GIC) INR 5. 33897 LACS Ø Bank Savings of Mother INR 7. 45358 LACS Ø Value of Land INR 39. 54631 LACS Ø Value of available gold ornaments INR 7. 21046 LACS Total funds available: INR 67. 84825 LACS (Equivalent to Canadian $126, 182. 351 approx. Calculated at the current exchange rate of Rs. 53. 77 per Canadian dollar) which exceeds my cost of tuition and living expenses for the entire period of my study in Canada. I have attached my bank statement in connection with my application. FUTURE PLANS I am very ambitious to work as a key player in a challenging and creative environment, to be instrumental in organization and project’s growth to realize my potential and explore myself to be an asset for the project. I want to polish my knowledge and skills by pursuing further studies in the field of my interest. I strongly believe this course will give shape to my career and boost my confidence to another level. Honestly, I do not have intentions to overstay in Canada after the completion of my study. I plan to return to my home country. As my sister and widow mother would be waiting for me for emotional support. More importantly, financial backup such as valuable property and bank balance requires my presence to utilize entirely. I want to learn, gain and have experience and finally come back to India and outstand from the rest of the crowd. With the help of my international Course and the experience, I will be able to apply for jobs and have an edge over my peers in a job interview at any place. With all of the knowledge gained, skills learned and experience. I am sure I would become a fine project manager. Also, I want to achieve new heights of success and make my parents and my institutions of my achievements. Please consider my application favorably and provide me a chance to study in such a renowned institution. DURATION OF STAY: The course start date is May 04, 2020, and the end date is December 31, 2020. Therefore, given the above, I most respectfully request you to grant me a Study Permit. In this connection, if you have any questions or concerns please do not hesitate to contact me at my email address and contact number. Finally, I thank you for your kind and sympathetic consideration this matter, I remain. Yours truly, Gaurav Singla Passport no: -S6106463.
STATEMENT OF EXPLANATION

The Visa officer

Canadian Embassy

Subject: Re-application for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Study
permit

It is
respectfully
submitted that I have
been granted
admission to Durham College of Applied Arts & Technology (DLI # O19361081012), Oshawa Campus, ON, Canada in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Project
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Management
at Post Graduate level. My classes
are scheduled
to commence from May 4, 2020. I applied for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
permit on Feb 12, 2020 (Application # S302956819,
Possible spelling mistake found.
UCI
# 1115770111).
However
, to my surprise, my application for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Study
Permit
was refused
by the High Commission of Canada’s letter dated Feb 24, 2020, which read Quote “You have not satisfied me that you would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
Canada at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of your stay. In reaching this decision, I considered several factors including the purpose of visit. ”

In this connection, I would like to address the concerns raised in the above-mentioned letter as follows:

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
which I have opted for is occupying an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
position in the modern global economy and situations. I being a native of India,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
brilliant scholars from my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
have studied abroad to polish their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
with foreign teachers and classmates, and this has
extensively
contributed to the betterment of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
economy. With this in mind, I wish to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in Canada to ameliorate my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and language abilities and become more ambitious in the workplace of the future. To
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
this I have decided to specialize in a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Canada has a reputable business sector along with fine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and a world-renowned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is the ideal site to build my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and ready for future challenges.

As of my introduction, I would like to introduce myself as Gaurav
Possible spelling mistake found.
Singla
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Sh. Raj Kumar. I belong to district
Possible spelling mistake found.
Barnala
Punjab (INDIA). My date of birth is 10th October 1993. I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
myself as a simple person who is eager to learn about new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to become a professional manager. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with my parents and elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sister
. My father expired in 2015. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
is a housewife
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
she is
also
running her beauty salon at home and my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sister
is working as a mathematics teacher at J. V. P School,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Barnala
. I possess a strong bond with my family. I have completed my Matriculation from Punjab School
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
Board,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mohali
with 07. 8CGPA, senior secondary in 2014 from the Punjab School
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
Board,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mohali
while scoring 61. 77% marks and Graduation (B. Pharmacy) in 2018 from I. K
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gujral
, Jalandhar with 6. 31OCPA. In
The comma is probably missing here: "IELTS, I".
IELTS I
scored 6. 5 bands (
overall
).

WHY CANADA?

There are several reasons for choosing Canada
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Canadian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
maintains high standards of academic excellence, quality and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
here for academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
. I am
fully
convinced that Canada is a better option compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
destinations as it has developed a
first
-rate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system.
Secondly
, the Canadian tuition fee is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of the lowest in English-speaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Along with this Canada is
also
a fantastic place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
as it provides a welcoming and multicultural society with a population that originates from around 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Moving
further
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system in Canada is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much organized with
highly
qualified staff which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
raise the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. It’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. The things I
particularly
like about Canada are the cultural diversity, the high standards of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and Canadian’s way of living. It’s a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to pursue higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
in Canada,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if one is serious about one’s career.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
this is the reason, why I have chosen Canada for my
further
studies.

Why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Project
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Management
and Durham College?

Project
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Management
is a broad subject within the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
of Information regulation and managing. It is the practice of initiating, planning, executing, controlling and closing the work of the team to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
specific goals and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
specific success criteria at the specified time. The major challenge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
goals within the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
constraints and this eight-month, full time, graduate certificate program will provide me more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and practice of more distinct technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
strategies. I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to learn from well-qualified professors and enhance my ability in the specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
. Which would
certainly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
me to set up my Pharmaceutics industry back to India? Apart from it, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
which I would gain as an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
would aid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
scale Indian industrialists to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
their goals by providing the latest techniques of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
. Being a human, I have responsibilities towards society and
hence
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
would deliver me various opportunities to serve both by opening various job avenues for the Indian natives.

For this, I chose Durham College
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is one of the top colleges in Canada. Durham College exceeds among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
colleges in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
satisfaction, quality of services, programming and resources. The facilities offered by the college will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
me gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
, be it social, recreational or personal development.
Moreover
, this program brings together participants from all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
at Durham College, it would give me a chance to be in contact with diverse cultures and an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
network. After being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
at Durham College I am sure that I would grow into a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
manager and an outstanding graduate. I would be
extremely
lucky to shape my career
Consider replacing "in an advance manner" with the adverb for "advance"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an advance manner
and I can furnish my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
which I gained throughout my experiences.

FAMILY PROFILE

Presently
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
is a housewife
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
running her beauty parlor at home.

My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sister
is working as a mathematics teacher.

LIQUID ASSETS

I have the following available to me:

Ø Tuition fee with the college (full 1 year)

INR 8. 29893
Possible spelling mistake found.
LACS


Ø
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Bank
savings(
Possible spelling mistake found.
GIC
) INR 5. 33897
Possible spelling mistake found.
LACS


Ø
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Bank
Savings of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mother
INR 7. 45358
Possible spelling mistake found.
LACS


Ø Value of Land INR 39. 54631
Possible spelling mistake found.
LACS


Ø Value of available gold ornaments

INR 7. 21046
Possible spelling mistake found.
LACS


Total funds available: INR 67. 84825
Possible spelling mistake found.
LACS
(Equivalent to Canadian $126, 182. 351 approx. Calculated at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
exchange rate of Rs. 53. 77 per Canadian dollar) which exceeds my cost of tuition and living expenses for the entire period of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in Canada. I have attached my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bank
statement in connection with my application.

FUTURE PLANS

I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
ambitious to work as a key player in a challenging and creative environment, to be instrumental in organization and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project’s
growth to realize my potential and explore myself to be an asset for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
want to polish my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
by pursuing
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
of my interest.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
strongly
believe this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
will give shape to my career and boost my confidence to another level.
Honestly
, I do not have intentions to overstay in Canada after the completion of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. I plan to return to my home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. As my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sister
and widow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
would be waiting for me for emotional support. More
importantly
, financial backup such as valuable property and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bank
balance requires my presence to utilize
entirely
. I want to learn, gain and have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and
finally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back to India and
Possible spelling mistake found.
outstand
from the rest of the crowd. With the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Course
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
, I will be able to apply for jobs and have an edge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
my peers in a job interview at any place. With
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
gained,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
learned and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. I am sure I would become a fine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
manager.
Also
, I want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
new heights of success and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
my parents and my institutions of my achievements.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
consider my application
favorably
and provide me a chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in such a renowned institution.

DURATION OF STAY:

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
date is May 04, 2020, and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
date is December 31, 2020.

Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the above, I most
respectfully
request you to grant me a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Study
Permit. In this connection, if you have any questions or concerns
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
do not hesitate to contact me at my email address and contact number.

Finally
, I thank you for your kind and sympathetic consideration this matter, I remain.

Yours
truly
,

Gaurav
Possible spelling mistake found.
Singla


Passport no: -S6106463.
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IELTS essay people are going canada is it good or bad do u agree with the statement or not

Essay
  American English
25 paragraphs
1386 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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