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People aim to achieve a balance between a work and life but few people achieve it. What are the reasons as well solutions ?

People aim to achieve a balance between a work and life but few people achieve it. What are the reasons as well solutions? W8RQK
There is no denying the fact that the impact of personal life over professional life has become debatable issue which are arising at alarming rate, therefore, only some people achieved this balance in their life. There are various causative factors why this trend is increasing which shall be followed by some remedial measures to alleviate this menace in subsequent paragraphs. To begin with, let us unfurl some reasons that why making balance between job and personal life is challenging. First and foremost, due to advancements of era, the competition among people increased which forced people to getting promotions, extra income enhance their standard of living, Hence, they indulge dear lot of time towards their professional life. Not only this, there are Numerous public sectors where no fixed working hours as jobs are divided into the two or three shifts which become the reason behind the imbalance of personal and professional life. There are some recommendations and implementations which can brings a considerable solution such as companies should provide extra holidays for Employees so that they can spend quality time with friends and family members which would be beneficial for them to keep their mind fresh and clean. Along with this, the leisure activities should be provided for them to release their stress from their workload so that they would be more able to make balance between jobs and personal life It would be reiterated that, no doubt there is big rivalry among the people to make their future secure but they should not forget to make appropriate balance between their personal and professional life.
There is no denying the fact that the impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
has become debatable issue

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
which
are arising at alarming rate,
therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
achieved this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. There
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
are


various causative factors why this trend is increasing which shall
be followed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
remedial measures to

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
alleviate
this menace in subsequent paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us unfurl
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons that why making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
between job and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is challenging.
First


and foremost, due to advancements of era, the competition among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
increased which forced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people


to getting promotions, extra income enhance their standard of living,
Hence
, they indulge dear lot of time

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
towards
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this, there are Numerous public sectors where no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
working hours
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
as


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
jobs
are divided
into the two or three shifts which become the reason behind the imbalance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
recommendations and implementations which can brings a considerable solution such
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
as


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
should provide extra holidays for Employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can spend quality time with friends and family

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
members
which would be beneficial for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their mind fresh and clean. Along with this, the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
leisure


activities should
be provided
for them to release their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
from their workload
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they would be more able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
between jobs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
life

It would
be reiterated
that, no doubt there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
rivalry among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their future secure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
should
not forget to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
between their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay People aim to achieve a balance between a work and life but few people achieve it. What are the reasons as well solutions?

Essay
  American English
13 paragraphs
264 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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