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Parents want to achieve balance between family and career but only a few can manage to achieve it . What do you think is the reason ? Discuss possible solutions and provide example.

Parents want to achieve balance between family and career but only a few can manage to achieve it. What do you think is the reason? Discuss possible solutions and provide example. GMlxj
In this day and age, parents has lot more responsibility to take care of kids as well as build there career to live a smooth and stable life, although its a very tough job. In this essay, I will discuss some of the reasons of this problem and try to find their suitable solutions to tackle this situation to have a good future of the whole family. In this hi-tech modern world, every kid demands for independence at their very young age and without proper knowledge of this freedom, they can be easily distracted from their primary goals, like education. At this time, parents role in their life is very crucial, so to tackle such problems, parents need a good quality and quantity time with their children. Despite this fact, parents doesn't have time because they at that point they are busy in building their own career. So the best answer to this problem is grandparents. We should once again follow the culture of joint family instead of nuclear one. As retired people of the house have plenty of time to spend with their grand kids. Furthermore, today's generation is highly influenced with internet. As a result, kids becomes addictive with social media websites, through this they can make so many friends very easily and afterwards, pass their valuable time by doing useless chit-chat. To avoid such things, parents need to educate them about the good use of internet and other social websites which are helpful in their studies too. So both the parents should spend time with their kids to solve such problems. Sometimes, male counterparts think that this is whole responsibility of females of the house but it is completely wrong view. To sum up, for the best upbringing of the kids, both the parents should take equal responsibility and follow the joint family concept. So that grandparents can teach the kids about their future, which helps to maintain the peace and harmony of the family and career of the parents too.
In this day and age,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
has lot more responsibility to take care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
as well
as build there career to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a smooth and stable life, although
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
tough job. In this essay, I will discuss
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
reasons of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and try to find their suitable solutions to tackle this situation to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
future of the whole family.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
this hi-tech modern world, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
demands for independence at their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age and without proper knowledge of this freedom, they can be
easily
distracted from their primary goals, like education. At this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
role in their life is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
to tackle such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
need a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality and quantity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their children. Despite this fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
doesn't have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they at that point they are busy in building their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
career.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the best answer to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is grandparents. We should once again follow the culture of joint family
instead
of nuclear one.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
retired
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend with their grand kids.

Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's generation is
highly
influenced with internet.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
becomes addictive with social media websites, through this they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easily
and afterwards, pass their valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by doing useless chit-chat. To avoid such things,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
need to educate them about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of internet and other social websites which are helpful in their studies too.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to solve such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, male counterparts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this is whole responsibility of females of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
view.

To sum up, for the best upbringing of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
, both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should take equal responsibility and follow the joint family concept.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that grandparents can teach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
about their future, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to maintain the peace and harmony of the family and career of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
too.
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IELTS essay Parents want to achieve balance between family and career but only a few can manage to achieve it. What do you think is the reason? Discuss possible solutions and provide example.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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