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In technology era, we cannot sustain ourselves without technology. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In technology era, we cannot sustain ourselves without technology. 3jQl
Nowadays, the trend of tourism industries growing rapidly and that gives huge revenues in countries economy. Some people believe that the tourist place take over to private companies for good maintenance and security. I disagree with this statement because there many factors which are, I am going to discuss in following paragraphs. The first and for most important point is that if tourist place privatize then the income source of government decreased in form of tourism taxes and that can affect the country economy. In the world there are many countries whose country economy mostly depends on tourism such as Singapore and many more. That can be effect on countries development. For example, if we assume that the statue of unity may be privatize then the huge revenue from tourist will directly benefited to the private company. It is irrefutable fact that the importance of tourist place can be reduced. we can say that signification of local culture and local vales may be decreases. That can be affects the local people who lives surrounding that place. Moreover, there is chance that the companies claim the ownership on that place and they make their rules. so these is very important point to take over the any tourist place to the private companies. And it also happened that the they take more charges on ticket to visit that place.
Nowadays, the trend of tourism industries growing
rapidly
and that gives huge revenues in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
economy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
take over to private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
maintenance and security. I disagree with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors which are, I am going to discuss in following paragraphs.

The
first
and for most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
point is that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
privatize then the income source of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
decreased in form of tourism taxes and that can affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
economy. In the world there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
economy
mostly
depends on tourism such as Singapore and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. That can be effect on
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "countries'" or "country's"?
countries
development.
For example
, if we assume that the statue of unity may be
Consider using the past participle "privatized"?
privatize
then the huge revenue from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
will
directly
benefited to the private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

It is irrefutable fact that the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
can say that signification of local culture and local vales may be decreases. That can be
Consider using the past participle "affected"?
affects
the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
Did you mean "live"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
lives
surrounding that place.

Moreover
, there is chance that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
claim the ownership on that
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
place and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
The verb 'is' is singular. Did you mean: "This is" or "these am", "these are", "these aren"?
these is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
point to take over the any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to the private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. And it
also
happened that
Possible typo. Did you mean "the" or "they"?
the they
take more charges on ticket to visit that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
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IELTS essay In technology era, we cannot sustain ourselves without technology.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
227 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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