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Parents should say their own children spend less time in study and they should play activities. Do you agree or disagree.

Parents should say their own children spend less time in study and they should play activities. xPQlN
Doing study d is most important for children and doing activities are most crucial for children both are important for children. I will discuss both views in next paragraph. Study is most important for children because they can improve skill with study. Children should spend less time in study and they play activities. Children make on life in activities. For example, in many countries children give preference to activities and they are earning many money in activities.
Doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
d is most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are most crucial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
both are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. I will discuss both views in
next
paragraph.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Study
is most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
should spend less time in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
study and
they play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
on life in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
For example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
give preference to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
activities and
they are earning
Possible agreement error. The noun money seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much money", "a good deal of money".
many money
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.

IELTS essay Parents should say their own children spend less time in study and they should play activities.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
77 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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