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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should not allow their children to watch TV.

Parents should not allow their children to watch TV. xmPAo
Nowadays, TV plays an important role in people’s life as a vehicle of entertainment, information and questionable programs as well. Some people argues that parents should not allow their children to watch TV because children do not learn anything good from watching TV and children who spend a lot of time watching TV tend to have bad grades at school. From my point of view, TV is a useful tool for children learning process. Watching TV can help children to improve their grades at school and children can even learn a new language by watching TV. To begin with, TV is a useful tool for children to learn a new language and to get to know other cultures and expand their knowledge as well. Nowadays, with the development of new technologies on the field of telecommunication such as cable TV and dish antenna, people are able to get TV programs broadcasted in other countries. For example, even though I have Chinese ancestors and we used to speak a very basic Chinese at home. By watching Chinese soap operas I am able to improve my Chinese by learning new words, new expressions and the right intonation in pronouncing certain words. Therefore, after a while my spoken Chinese has improved a lot. In addition, watching Chinese soap operas also taught me a lot about my ancestor’s culture in all aspects. Therefore, I’ve got to know the way how people were dressed up according to the dynasty that the movie or the soap opera were broadcasting, their habits and the way how people celebrate some important dates such as a traditional wedding or even a funeral. Moreover, watching TV is also a good way for children to improve their grades at school and broaden their minds as well by getting to know what is going on in other part of the world. For example, by watching educative channels such as Discovery Channel, children will have a better understanding about wildlife, biodiversity and the food chain as well. Even though, children are able to learn about nature from their text books, watching TV is more enjoyable than memorizing the concepts from their text books because they are able to visualize the facts from their TV screen. In addition, watching TV is a good way for children to be aware of other people’s struggles such as famine and diseases in Africa and this way they will not take for granted the opportunity that they have. To sum up, in my opinion, watching TV is part of people’s daily life for entertaining and being aware of the most current news. Depending on the program selection and the amount of time that parents allow their children to be in front of their TV screen, watching TV can be a useful learning tool for children to master a new language, to achieve good grades at school and to aware of how privileged they are compared to other children on the other side of the world.
Nowadays, TV plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life as a vehicle of entertainment, information and questionable programs as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
argues
that parents should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
anything
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
from watching TV and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time watching TV tend to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. From my point of view, TV is a useful tool for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learning process. Watching TV can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
language by watching TV.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, TV is a useful tool for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
language and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cultures and expand their knowledge as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
. Nowadays, with the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technologies on the field of telecommunication such as cable TV and dish antenna,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
TV programs broadcasted in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries.
For example
,
even though
I have Chinese
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
ancestors and
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to speak a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
basic Chinese at home. By watching Chinese soap operas I am
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
my Chinese by learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
expressions and the right intonation in pronouncing certain words.
Therefore
, after a while my spoken Chinese has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
a lot.
In addition
, watching Chinese soap operas
also
taught me a lot about my ancestor’s culture in all aspects.
Therefore
, I’ve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
to know the way how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were dressed
up according to the dynasty that the movie or the soap opera were broadcasting, their habits and the way how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
celebrate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
dates such as a traditional wedding or even a funeral.

Moreover
, watching TV is
also
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and broaden their minds as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
by getting to know what is going on in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
part of the world.
For example
, by watching educative channels such as Discovery Channel,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will have a better understanding about wildlife, biodiversity and the food chain as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
.
Even though
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about nature from their text books, watching TV is more enjoyable than memorizing the concepts from their text books
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to visualize the facts from their TV screen.
In addition
, watching TV is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be aware of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
struggles such as famine and diseases in Africa and this way they will not take for granted the opportunity that they have.

To sum up, in my opinion, watching TV is part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
daily life for entertaining and being aware of the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. Depending on the program selection and the amount of time that parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be in front of their TV screen, watching TV can be a useful learning tool for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to master a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
language, to achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and to aware of how privileged they
are compared
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side of the world.
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IELTS essay Parents should not allow their children to watch TV.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
497 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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