Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Most country aim to improve the standard of living through economic development, but most of the important values are lost.Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Most country aim to improve the standard of living through economic development, but most of the important values are lost. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? Aja2x
Many nations try their best to develop the living standard which is directly linked to the economic development, while nearly all crucial values vanish due to this development. Although this period causes many significant drawbacks, I put down to the fact that the benefits are greater. This essay will first discuss the negative side of the economic development, then it will point out the bright side of this issue. There is no denying that there is a world of problems being able to be anticipated when a country is more developed. One fact is that the number of working hours would be extended due to the huge amount of work that needs to be accomplished. Then the parents will have to be tied up at the workplace and find hard to let their hair down when getting home. This would lead to the fewer hours that parents could spend with their children. Consequently, the children will be brought up without enough care of their parents and tend to copy bad acts from their peers. Another worrying fact is that people would be more indifferent while they are living in such fast-paced life. People are easily enraged and could throw a tantrum due to all the strain they have to suffer. On the other hand, we can obviously see the benefits from the economic development. High living standard is the most obvious advantage. A wide range of healthcare centers, schools and restaurants are few examples of high standard of living, which would definitely make citizens’ life much more easy and comfortable. Furthermore, a lot more opportunities will be provided to the citizens, for examples the chance to get a job for the unemployed, or a chance to access many range of entertainments from enjoying a trip to trying different tasty and unique food. In a nutshell, I certainly believe this process needs to be focused on more on account of many opportunities provided. The economic development only causes trivial negative problems compared to many advantages it brings.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
nations try their best to develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
standard which is
directly
linked to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
, while
nearly
all crucial values vanish due to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
. Although this period causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
significant drawbacks, I put down to the fact that the benefits are greater. This essay will
first
discuss the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
, then it will point out the bright side of this issue.

There is no denying that there is a world of problems being able to
be anticipated
when a country is more developed. One fact is that the number of working hours would
be extended
due to the huge amount of work that needs to
be accomplished
. Then the parents will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be tied
up at the workplace and find
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
their hair down when getting home. This would lead to the fewer hours that parents could spend with their children.
Consequently
, the children will
be brought
up without
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
care of their parents and tend to copy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
acts from their peers. Another worrying fact is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would be more indifferent while they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in such
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced life.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are
easily
enraged and could throw a tantrum due to all the strain they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
suffer.

On the other hand
, we can
obviously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the benefits from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
. High
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
standard is the most obvious advantage. A wide range of healthcare centers, schools and restaurants are few examples of high standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
, which would definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
citizens’ life much more easy and comfortable.
Furthermore
, a lot more opportunities will
be provided
to the citizens, for examples the chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job for the unemployed, or a chance to access
Possible agreement error. The noun range seems to be countable; consider using: "many ranges".
many range
of entertainments from enjoying a trip to trying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
tasty and unique food.

In a nutshell, I
certainly
believe this process needs to
be focused
on more on account of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opportunities provided. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
causes trivial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
problems compared to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages it brings.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Most country aim to improve the standard of living through economic development, but most of the important values are lost. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Most country aim to improve the standard of living through economic development, but most of the important values are lost.Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?