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Parents should incarage they children less time in study and more time in sports or physical activities. Do agree or disagree?

Parents should incarage they children less time in study and more time in sports or physical activities. Do agree or disagree? 7r6Nk
"As we look back on an emotional sports history, memories of the most encouraging, brave and genuine sportsmen start to flood the scene". Now a days children parents are only focusing on their studies not on their physical activities. today I am going to tell you about the benefits of sports and physical activities. Playing a sports game make a person not only physical activit but help in mental alertness. Sports activity and physical activities help a person to groom his or her personality and also the team work. When you are physically active your mind gets a chance to unplug from daily stresses and strains of life.  This includes improving your mood, enhancing your sense of well-being, reducing anxiety, combating negative emotions and protecting against depression. Taking part in sport can help us feel fitter, healthier and mentally strong, and that is just the start of it. Sport can also be fun, especially when played as part of a team or with family or friends.  I would like to give some examples: - better sleep, A strong heart, New connection, improve lung functions, increased confidence, reduce stress and ect. I totally support the view that children should be encouraged to do more physical activitiesin order to achieve a stronger human bodyand grow comprehensively.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
As we look back on an emotional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
history, memories of the most encouraging, brave and genuine sportsmen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to flood the scene
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
a days children parents are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focusing on their studies not on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
today
I am going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you about the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities.

Playing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
game
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a person not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
Possible spelling mistake found.
activit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in mental alertness.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
activity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a person to groom
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
personality and
also
the team work. When you are
physically
active your mind
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
a chance to unplug from daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stresses
and strains of life.  This includes improving your mood, enhancing your sense of well-being, reducing anxiety, combating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
emotions and protecting against depression.

Taking part in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us feel fitter, healthier and mentally strong, and
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sport
can
also
be fun,
especially
when played as part of a team or with family or friends.  I would like to give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
examples:
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
better sleep, A strong heart, New connection,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
lung functions, increased confidence,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
ect
.

I
totally
support the view that children should
be encouraged
to do more physical

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
activitiesin
order to achieve a stronger human
Possible spelling mistake found.
bodyand
grow
comprehensively
.
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IELTS essay Parents should incarage they children less time in study and more time in sports or physical activities. Do agree or disagree?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
214 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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