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Parents should give freedom to their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Parents should give freedom to their children. wOear
It is believed that parents should give liberation to their children as they will be self confident, productive member of the society and learn to examine their life. I am agree with the given statement and going to discuss some advantages of it in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, their are numerous merits of giving freedom to the children. The first and foremost is that they will become more assured and positive for their life to live with confidence and they will be conscious for taking any desicion in the life for their better future and hence become a productive member of the community. For example, according to the recent survey, 90% of children who have given freedom are far away from crimes and other bad companies. In addition to this, by giving freedom to the children, they are able to examine their life that whether they are following right or wrong way in their life. Moreover, they will be stressless from the rules and regulations of their parents and live happy as well as healthy life. On the other hand, parents should not give freedom to their children in excess as they can indulge into the bad companies and get addicted to the drugs. So, parents should take care of their children by giving them required freedom. To conclude, although parents should not give excessive liberation but give that much freedom that their children become self confident and can able to examine their life.
It
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
liberation to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as they will be
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self confident
, productive member of the society and learn to examine their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. I am
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement and going to discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages of it in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with,
Did you mean "there"?
their
are numerous merits of giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. The
first
and foremost is that they will become more assured and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
confidence and
they will be conscious for taking any
Possible spelling mistake found.
desicion
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for their better future and
hence
become a productive member of the community.
For example
, according to the recent survey, 90% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
are far away from crimes and other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
In addition
to this, by giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, they are able to examine their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
that whether they are following right or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
way in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Moreover
, they will be
Possible spelling mistake found.
stressless
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
happy
as well
as healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in excess as they can indulge into the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
addicted to the drugs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by giving them required
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
.
To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
excessive liberation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
that much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
become
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self confident
and
Please check whether one of these words is redundant.
can able to
examine their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay Parents should give freedom to their children.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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