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MANY SCHOOL THESE DAYS HAVE PROBLEM WITH POOR STUDENT BEHAVIOR. WHY DO YOU THINK THESE PROBLEMS OCCUR? WHAT COULD BE DONE TO TACKLE THESE PROBLEMS?

MANY SCHOOL THESE DAYS HAVE PROBLEM WITH POOR STUDENT BEHAVIOR. WHY DO YOU THINK THESE PROBLEMS OCCUR? WHAT COULD BE DONE TO TACKLE THESE PROBLEMS? pK1XL
Children are one of the most essential factors which determine the development of a country so that the government always takes care of their education seriously. However, in many schools in around the world, there are a number of students behaving badly with other people. This essay will look at the man causes of the problem and propose some solution. One of the main causes of the problem is that there is domestic violence in student’s family. Due to the fact that parents have a profound effect on their kids, when they behave badly with each other, the children will be negatively affected. As a result, in some certain situations, a student whose parents are violent can imitate and treat other people in the same way. To tackle this issue, parents have to control their representation in front of kids to decrease any negative influence on them. Consequently, this solution will help children cannot learn bad behavior from their family. Another problem is that teenagers have adolescent rebellion. From the age of 14 to 18, children can take action against adults, due to the fact that in this period, students are easily impacted by external influences so that they always want to try something different. As an example, if they do not cheat at exams or play truant from school before, they might find it interesting and will try in the future. The solution is for the family to pay more attention on their kids to understand what they really demand; besides, the teacher should have gentle measures instead of being too strict. Therefore, students will realize they are being understood so that they will be less rebellious. A third cause of the problem is that student’s bad behavior originates in being induced to become impolite and another one is imitation from their friends. There is no doubt that the children do not understand clearly what they are actually doing; moreover, they cannot recognize there are a number of consequences can be appeared. This problem is more and more serious when some students are inducing their friends to behave badly; for instance, if any students want to play truant, they can persuade someone to go with them and it is difficult for children to avoid temptation. The way to forward could be to discipline students violating to set an example for the others, which would help them realize it is wrong. To sum up, there are more and more bad behavior in schools, due to reason such as domestic violence, adolescent rebellion and solicitation. This is a crucial problem, and action must be taken urgently in the hope of student will behave better. In my view, parents and teachers have to take the essential responsibility for tackling this issue.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are one of the most essential factors which determine the development of a country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
always takes care of their education
seriously
.
However
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
schools in around the world, there are a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
behaving
badly
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. This essay will look at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
causes of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and propose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solution.

One of the main causes of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is that there is domestic violence in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
family. Due to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have a profound effect on their kids, when they behave
badly
with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will be
negatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
.
As a result
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain situations, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are violent can imitate and treat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the same way
. To tackle this issue,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
control their representation in front of kids to decrease any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence on them.
Consequently
, this solution will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
cannot learn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
behavior from their family.

Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
have adolescent rebellion. From the age of 14 to 18,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can take action against adults, due to the fact that in this period,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
easily
impacted by external influences
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they always want to try something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
. As an example, if they do not cheat at exams or play truant from school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, they might find it interesting and will try in the future. The solution is for the family to pay more attention on their kids to understand what they
really
demand;
besides
, the teacher should have gentle measures
instead
of being too strict.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will realize they are
being understood
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they will be less rebellious.

A third cause of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
behavior originates in
being induced
to become impolite and another one is imitation from their friends. There is no doubt that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not understand
clearly
what they are actually doing;
moreover
, they cannot recognize there are a number of consequences can
be appeared
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is more and more serious when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are inducing their friends to behave
badly
;
for instance
, if any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
want to play truant, they can persuade someone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
them and it is difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to avoid temptation. The way to forward could be to discipline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
violating to set an example for the others, which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them realize it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.

To sum up, there are more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
behavior in schools, due to reason such as domestic violence, adolescent rebellion and solicitation. This is a crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, and action
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
urgently
in the hope of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
will behave better. In my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and teachers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take the essential responsibility for tackling this issue.
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IELTS essay MANY SCHOOL THESE DAYS HAVE PROBLEM WITH POOR STUDENT BEHAVIOR. WHY DO YOU THINK THESE PROBLEMS OCCUR? WHAT COULD BE DONE TO TACKLE THESE PROBLEMS?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
459 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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