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Advertising compelling people to buy this which they don’t need. Others people say advertising help people to know about the new products . Do you agree with the formes statement or the latter?

Advertising compelling people to buy this which they don’t need. Others people say advertising help people to know about the new products. or the latter? eAb3p
NOWADAYS ADVERTS HAS BEEN SUCH A WELL-PERFORMED THAT THEM COMPELLING PEOPLE TO PURCHASE GOODS AND SERVICES WHICH THEY DO NOT EVEN NEED. IT IS ALSO CLAIMED ADVERTISING IS A MEAN TO MAKE THE SOCIETY AWARE OF NEW PRODUCTS THAT MIGHT ENHANCE PEOPLE’S LIVE. ALTHOUGH THERE SOME ADVERTS THAT CAN USING ALLURING TECHNIQUES IN ORDER TO PUSH PEOPLE TO ACQUIRE THEIR GOODS, I TEND TO AGREE THAT ADVERTISEMENT PLAYS A KEY ROLE WHEN IT COMES TO SHOW NEWLY LAUNCHED PRODUCTS TO THEIR TARGET PUBLIC. FIRST OF ALL, ADVERTISING, IN THESE DAYS, ARE SO WELL-PREPARED THAT IT WOULD BE CONSIDERED AS A MODERN ART. THEN IT IS EASY TO FEEL INVOLVED WITH THEIR MARKETING STRATEGIES. ONE CLEAR EXAMPLE OF THESE COMPELLING STRATEGY IS WHEN THE ADVERTS HAS A MOVIE STAR OR SOCCER PLAYER AS MODEL. SUCH CELEBRITY ENDORSEMENT ENCHANTS THOSE THAT ARE BIG FANS TO BUY CERTAIN PRODUCT. Therefore ADVERTISING IS A FORM OF BUSINESS AND ENTERTAINMENT WHERE THEY EXPOSE THEIR SERVICES IN A BRILLIANT WAY WITH THE PURPOSE TO REACH CLIENTS AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. MOREOVER, ADVERTISING COMPANIES CREATE MANY JOB OPPORTUNITIES AND MOVE A BILLIONAIRE MARKET DIRECTLY AND INDIRECTLY, FOR EXAMPLE, FILMING COMPANIES, COLLEGES. IN ADDITION TO THAT, OVERALL ADVERTS HAVE A CRUCIAL ROLE IN TERMS OF PROVIDING INFORMATION ABOUT A BRAND, OR FEATURES, OR ADVANTAGES OF A PRODUCT. THIS ANNOUNCEMENT GIVES CHOICES FOR CUSTOMERS. COMPANIES HAVE A CHANCE TO DEMOSTRATE THEIR GOODS IN ORDER TO ATTRACT MORE AND MORE CLIENTS. IT IS THE BEST FOR PEOPLE BECAUSE SUCH COMPETITION GENERATES MORE QUALITY FOR THE SERVICES OR GOODS. TO SUM UP, ADVERTISING MIGHT SOMEHOW LEADS TO THE CONSUMERISM. HOWEVER, I TOTTALY AGREE THAT ADVERTISING HELPS SOCIETY AS A WHOLE, WHILE MAKES COMPANIES KNOWN BY SOCIETY, STREGTHEN THE JOB MARKET. AND CLARIFY PEOPLE ABOUT NEW RELEASES.
NOWADAYS ADVERTS HAS BEEN SUCH A WELL-PERFORMED THAT THEM COMPELLING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PURCHASE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GOODS
AND SERVICES WHICH THEY DO NOT EVEN NEED. IT IS
ALSO
CLAIMED ADVERTISING IS A MEAN TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
MAKE
THE SOCIETY AWARE OF NEW
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PRODUCTS
THAT MIGHT ENHANCE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE’S
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
LIVE
. ALTHOUGH THERE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
ADVERTS THAT CAN USING ALLURING TECHNIQUES IN ORDER TO PUSH
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
TO ACQUIRE THEIR
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GOODS
, I TEND TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
AGREE
THAT ADVERTISEMENT PLAYS A KEY ROLE WHEN IT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
COMES
TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SHOW
NEWLY
LAUNCHED
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PRODUCTS
TO THEIR TARGET PUBLIC.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
FIRST OF ALL
, ADVERTISING, IN THESE DAYS, ARE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
WELL-PREPARED THAT IT WOULD
BE CONSIDERED
AS A MODERN ART. THEN IT IS EASY TO FEEL INVOLVED WITH THEIR MARKETING STRATEGIES. ONE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
CLEAR
EXAMPLE OF THESE COMPELLING STRATEGY IS WHEN THE ADVERTS
You should probably use "have", "haven".
HAS
A MOVIE STAR OR SOCCER PLAYER AS MODEL. SUCH CELEBRITY ENDORSEMENT ENCHANTS THOSE THAT ARE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BIG
FANS TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
BUY
CERTAIN
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PRODUCT
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
ADVERTISING IS A FORM OF BUSINESS AND ENTERTAINMENT WHERE THEY EXPOSE THEIR SERVICES IN A BRILLIANT WAY WITH THE PURPOSE TO REACH CLIENTS AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE.

MOREOVER
, ADVERTISING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
COMPANIES
CREATE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
JOB OPPORTUNITIES AND
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
MOVE
A BILLIONAIRE MARKET
DIRECTLY
AND
INDIRECTLY
,
FOR EXAMPLE
, FILMING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
COMPANIES
, COLLEGES.
IN ADDITION
TO THAT,
OVERALL
ADVERTS HAVE A CRUCIAL ROLE IN TERMS OF PROVIDING INFORMATION ABOUT A BRAND, OR FEATURES, OR ADVANTAGES OF A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PRODUCT
. THIS ANNOUNCEMENT GIVES CHOICES FOR CUSTOMERS.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
COMPANIES
HAVE A CHANCE TO
Possible spelling mistake found.
DEMOSTRATE
THEIR
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GOODS
IN ORDER TO ATTRACT MORE AND MORE CLIENTS. IT IS THE BEST FOR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
SUCH COMPETITION GENERATES MORE QUALITY FOR THE SERVICES OR
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GOODS
.

TO SUM UP, ADVERTISING MIGHT SOMEHOW
The verb 'MIGHT' requires the base form of the verb: "lead"
LEADS
TO THE CONSUMERISM.
HOWEVER
, I
Possible spelling mistake found.
TOTTALY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
AGREE
THAT ADVERTISING
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
HELPS
SOCIETY AS A WHOLE, WHILE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
MAKES
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
COMPANIES
KNOWN BY SOCIETY,
Possible spelling mistake found.
STREGTHEN
THE JOB MARKET. AND CLARIFY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
ABOUT NEW RELEASES.
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IELTS essay Advertising compelling people to buy this which they don’t need. Others people say advertising help people to know about the new products. or the latter?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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