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Parents should encourage their children to take less time on study rather than physical fitness do you agree or disagree with this

Parents should encourage their children to take less time on study rather than physical fitness with this dDWKK
Parents should definitely forced their kids to take less time on study and more spent time on physical activities. I completely agree with this notion as well as health is on of the most thing that is very curious to all People. To commence with, nowadays a lot of young ones has worked hard to having a good marks in their examination but I believe that parents encourage their kids to less time give students due the fact that it is true that if the health is fit then human is capable to do whatever. Moreover, another reason is why children should provide more time physically activity that is very beneficial for to keep maintain a healthy and balance an immune system such as yoga, walk, exercises and many more. For example a survey conducted by the university of californium which revealed that 90% children went to for walk 2-3 hours every in the morning due to they believe that first is health other things is second. Additionally, there are many others factors is responsible for the health if the children are aware for their health then obviously they can concentrate on their study easily while physical activities is play an important roles to developed children mind and keep active. Furthermore, secondly physical fitness forced to younger more spent time to do exercise and eating fresh food rather than fast food. Also, they helpful to eat fresh fruits, green vegetables and take a one glass milk. For instance an article published by the times newspaper which stated that 70% children were aware their health fitness and take fresh foods in America. To conclude, I believe that it is very important to keep fit health due to if the health is well than people can do anything as well as tough study.
Parents should definitely
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "force"
forced
their kids to take less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on study and more spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on physical activities. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is
Did you mean "one"?
on
of the most thing
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
curious to all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
. To commence with, nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
young ones has worked
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
marks in their examination
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe that parents encourage their kids to less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
give students due the fact that it is true that if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is fit
then human is capable to do whatever.
Moreover
, another reason is why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should provide more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
physically
activity
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial for to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
maintain a healthy and balance an immune system such as yoga, walk, exercises and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
For example
a survey conducted by the university of californium which revealed that 90%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
went to for walk 2-3 hours every in the morning due to they believe that
first
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
other things is second.
Additionally
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others factors is responsible for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are aware for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
then
obviously
they can concentrate on their study
easily
while physical activities is play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "role"?
roles
to developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
mind and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
active.
Furthermore
,
secondly
physical fitness forced to younger more spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do exercise and eating fresh food
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food.
Also
, they helpful to eat fresh fruits, green vegetables and take a one glass milk.
For instance
an article published by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
newspaper which stated that 70%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
were aware their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
fitness and take fresh foods in America.
To conclude
, I believe that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
fit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
due to if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is
Use "better" to make a comparison with this adjective.
well
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can do anything
as well
as tough study.
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IELTS essay Parents should encourage their children to take less time on study rather than physical fitness with this

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
301 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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