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Greater numbers of young people are going to university to acquire academic degrees these days than in the past. Do you think the advantages of more young people studying for academic degrees outweigh the disadvantages?

Greater numbers of young people are going to university to acquire academic degrees these days than in the past. Do you think the advantages of more young people studying for academic degrees outweigh the disadvantages? kjOPO
A greater quantity of numbers the younger generation are moving forwards to university to acquire academic degrees is increasing than in the past. Instead of doing vocational skills like architecture or producing electricity they are more likely to obtain academic degrees. In tThis essay will discuss the benefits of young people who are learning academic degrees outweigh the drawbacks to support both points of view. Firstly, academic degrees can provide plenty of knowledge for students to gain experiences that help them to learn new skills and to learn specific skills as they want to achieve in the future. For some reasons, having bachelors degrees can help them get a higher chance in getting jobs than high school graduates. Not only that but jobs are also more accessible for them. For example, 80 percent of jobs are mostly opening for workers with bachelor degrees, while jobs requiring a high school diploma are only 50 percent that have been advertised. On the other hand, there are also some causes that academic degrees can affect them. Many people, especially youngsters do not know what they are actually good at which leads them to graduate with wrong degrees. To get the academic degree it takes more than 3 years to finish, therefore before making any decisions they need to make sure if the major they want is right for them or not. In addition, in the jobin job market changes from timetimes to timetimes when you finish your degrees, the chance of many people holdinghold the same degree will be increasing as well, like well like doctors or designers. In conclusion, academic degrees can assist students with many education and experiences that help the learner to gain skills and be able to find jobs easily that fit their ability. In the meantime academic studies also bring troubles too, like becoming a failure and wasting a lot of timetimes because of choosing the wrong degrees. Consequently, the advantages of learning academic degrees surely outweigh the disadvantages.
A greater quantity of numbers the younger generation are moving forwards to university to acquire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
is increasing than in the past.
Instead
of doing vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
like architecture or producing electricity they are more likely to obtain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
tThis
essay will discuss the benefits of young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
outweigh the drawbacks to support both points of view.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
can provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of knowledge for students to gain experiences that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to learn new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and to learn specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
as they want to achieve in the future. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons, having bachelors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a higher chance in getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
than high school graduates. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are
also
more accessible for them.
For example
, 80 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are
mostly
opening for workers with bachelor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
requiring a high school diploma are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
50 percent that have
been advertised
.

On the other hand
, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
causes that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
can affect them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
youngsters do not know what they are actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at which leads them to graduate with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
it takes more than 3 years to finish,
therefore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making any decisions they need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure if the major they want is right for them or not.
In addition
, in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
jobin
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
timetimes
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
timetimes
when you finish your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
, the chance of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
holdinghold
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
will be increasing
as well
, like well like doctors or designers.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
can assist students with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
education and experiences that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the learner to gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and be able to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
easily
that fit their ability.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
the meantime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
studies
also
bring troubles too, like becoming a failure and wasting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Possible spelling mistake found.
timetimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of choosing the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
.
Consequently
, the advantages of learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
surely
outweigh the disadvantages.
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IELTS essay Greater numbers of young people are going to university to acquire academic degrees these days than in the past. Do you think the advantages of more young people studying for academic degrees outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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