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parents should encourage their children spend less time on studying and more time on exercise. do you agree or disagree.

parents should encourage their children spend less time on studying and more time on exercise. BWBE6
There is currently a contentious argument whether family must have been inspire their kids spend more time on exercise instead of education. I strongly agree with this idea and believe that children spent spare time on activities rather than studying, as this will provide more benefits in the distant future. In the first place, the key reason behind my agreement is that exercise play vital role among common masses which offer bounteous mileage towards body. To elaborate further, this will not only attain healthy lifestyle, but also stay away from many aliments. The best example of this scenario, it was mentioned in the famous newspaper' The Tribune' in which some experts reveals that nine out of ten juvenile keen towards the sports as compared to study and accomplish their goals with more healthy. Hence, community made into active and sophisticated in their life. On rational to substantial my crux is exercise is more conducive and pivotal for health owing to the fact that live fruitfully life. To combat this, if any brood engage in any outdoor activity, the can easily focus on studies in great way and tackle exacerbate situation with the assist of activities. last but not least, youngsters entice by the exercise as they will more confident as well as demonstrate their interest towards the studies due to fact that if offspring study all the time, in leisure time. so, the feel more depressed and its put negative impact on health. To cite an example, half of the population do particular exercise prior going to the workplace as its lead wholesome in their life. To put in the nutshell, therefore, from the above disquisition unravels the kernel of physical exercise is the predominant part of the life and it is part and parcel for every masses to converted into fit as fiddle. even though, education is also imperative pat to live luxurious lifestyle, without good health society do not execute to better life.
There is
currently
a contentious argument whether family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have been
Consider using a past participle here: "inspired".
inspire
their kids spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
instead
of education. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and believe that children spent spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on activities
rather
than studying, as this will provide more benefits in the distant future.

In the
first
place, the key reason behind my agreement is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
play vital role among common masses which offer bounteous mileage towards body. To elaborate
further
, this will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
attain healthy lifestyle,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
stay away from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aliments. The best example of this scenario, it
was mentioned
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
newspaper' The Tribune' in which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
experts
You should probably use "reveal".
reveals
that nine out of ten juvenile
Possible agreement error. The noun 'keen' seems to be countable, so consider using: "keens".
keen
towards the sports as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and accomplish their goals with more healthy.
Hence
, community made into active and sophisticated in their life.

On rational to substantial my crux is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
is more conducive and pivotal for health owing to the fact that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
fruitfully
life. To combat this, if any brood engage in any outdoor activity, the can
easily
focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
in great way and tackle exacerbate situation with the assist of activities.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, youngsters entice by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
as they will more confident
as well
as demonstrate their interest towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
due to fact that if offspring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, in leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
, the feel more depressed and its put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on health. To cite an example, half of the population do particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
prior going to the workplace as its lead wholesome in their life.

To put in the nutshell,
therefore
, from the above disquisition unravels the kernel of physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
is the predominant part of the life and it is part and parcel for every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "mass", "masse"?
masses
to converted into fit as fiddle.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
even
though, education is
also
imperative pat to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
luxurious lifestyle, without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health society do not execute to better life.
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IELTS essay parents should encourage their children spend less time on studying and more time on exercise.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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