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parents often buy their children many toys. what are the advantages and disadvantages of children having a large amount number of toys? use examples of your personal knowledge and experience.

parents often buy their children many toys. what are the advantages and disadvantages of children having a large amount number of toys? use examples of your personal knowledge and experience. WedD
it is irreputable, that parents whether they are enough wealthy or not but they want to provide all type of the facilities to their pulpins from very first day. Guardians purchase the toys for their kids to make them feel happy but some of them buy regularly excessive toys, which has more disadvantages as comparatively to advantages. in this following essay we discuss both of them. having a large number of toys need a good amount of money to purchase, not everybody can afford so it become a hurdle for those who are not financial strong. besides this, when someone has a large number of games he or she spend most of the time to play indoor so they might not get fit as compare to those who play outdoor. for instance, the only son of my uncle John, is overweight because my uncle had always brought new toys and games for him so he had spend most of his time inside the house and now he is having diseases in very early age. moreover toys are not the only thing which is necessary for the upbringing of a child, proper guidance is also crucial. games and toys with arrows, pistols which can gives a bad impression on the undeveloped kids mind. for example, last month i watched the news a 10 year kid make his friend blind with arrow while playing. which one is really sad. although have a good amount of toys has its own merits, children has good kind of toys from where they can learn. moreover it makes them happy and nothing is greater than smile of a innocent child. to put it in a nutshell, i pen down by saying buying unnecessary toys for kids more constantly for the parents is not a mature decision. it make the negative impression on the mind and become a reason for bad health of offsprings.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
irreputable
, that parents whether they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
wealthy or not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they want to provide all type of the facilities to their
Possible spelling mistake found.
pulpins
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
first
day. Guardians
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them feel happy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
regularly
excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
, which has more disadvantages as
comparatively
to advantages.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
this following essay we discuss both of them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
having
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
need a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amount of money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
, not everybody can afford
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it
Did you mean "becomes"?
become
a hurdle for those who are not financial strong.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
besides
this, when someone has
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
games he or she
The pronoun 'she' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "spends", "spent".
spend
most of the time to play indoor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they might not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
fit as compare to those who play outdoor.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
son of my uncle John, is overweight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
my uncle had always brought new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
and games for him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he had
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "spent".
spend
most of his time inside the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
he is having diseases in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early age.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
moreover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
are not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing which is necessary for the upbringing of a child, proper guidance is
also
crucial.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
games
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
with arrows, pistols which can gives a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impression on the undeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
mind.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, last month
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
the news a
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "10-year"
10 year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
his friend blind with arrow while playing.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
which
one is
really
sad.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
although
have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
merits, children has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
from where they can learn.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
moreover
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them happy and nothing is greater than smile of
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
innocent child.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
put it in a nutshell,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
pen down by saying buying unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
more
constantly
for the parents is not a mature decision.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
Did you mean "makes"?
make
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impression on the mind and become a reason for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
health of
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
.
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IELTS essay parents often buy their children many toys. what are the advantages and disadvantages of children having a large amount number of toys? use examples of your personal knowledge and experience.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
317 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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