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Parents of obese children should be punished for making them fat. Do you agree or disagree?

Parents of obese children should be punished for making them fat. EkRB
The relative significance to penalty to father and mother of lymphatic kiddies due to made them fatty is a matter of discussion. I fully agree with the statement in the sake of their overtake care them the children gradually lose their healthy body shape. Obviously, all parents love their child. But they become so affectionate that, they does not realize, they spoiling their kid. In addition, sometimes they try to feed nutrias food to them unnecessarily. Consequently, By over accepting food stuffs, they become fatty. Furthermore, they are away from any physical activities because of parents not let them go. For example, nowadays, a large percentage of toddlers are facing obesity mainly in wealthy countries. However, parents committing these, nevertheless they have no penance at all. Hence, governments of various nations have to take initiatives to develop consciousness among the people. After that, the authorities should apply compensation. Most importantly, governments department can be imposed a huge economic fine for exceeding the weight of their child for explicit limit. In conclusion, my opinion is to create a legislation to protect our future offspring through a hygienic growth by enforcing fine to the parents whose are failed to control the weight of their children.
The relative significance to penalty to father and mother of lymphatic kiddies due to made them fatty is a matter of discussion. I
fully
agree
with the statement in the sake of their overtake care them the children
gradually
lose their healthy body shape.

Obviously
, all
parents
love
their child.
But
they become
so
affectionate that, they
does
not realize,
they spoiling
their kid.
In addition
,
sometimes
they try to feed nutrias food to them
unnecessarily
.
Consequently
, By over accepting food stuffs, they become fatty.
Furthermore
, they are away from any physical activities
because
of
parents
not
let
them go.
For example
, nowadays, a large percentage of toddlers are facing obesity
mainly
in wealthy countries.

However
,
parents
committing these,
nevertheless
they have no penance at all.
Hence
,
governments
of various nations
have to
take initiatives to develop consciousness among the
people
. After that, the authorities should apply compensation. Most
importantly
,
governments
department can
be imposed
a huge economic fine for exceeding the weight of their child for explicit limit.

In conclusion
, my opinion is to create a legislation to protect our future offspring through a hygienic growth by enforcing fine to the
parents
whose
are failed
to control the weight of their children.
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IELTS essay Parents of obese children should be punished for making them fat.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
203 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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