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Parenta and guidance skills in school programmes

Parenta and guidance skills in school programmes PRyOw
Most people hold the opinion that working for charity, improving neighbourhood and teaching sports to the younger generation shuold be free and compulsory part of educationprogramme. However, I completely disagree with the idea as these should be paid work that creats income to the youths and other needy families. Firstly, when working for charity while improving neighbourhood are made part of school programmes, learners tend to acquire skills necessary for them bringing sense of responsive living after school. When skills are acquired in early stages of life, learners tend to have productive future on how they handle activities of daily living wherever they end up afterwards. For instance, when i was in high school i learned laundry, house cleaning, utensils maintenance and even cooking food which has made me be able to handle my own household needs. Hence, school programmes should be inclusive of necessary life skills to stimulate ones attitude towards facing life. In addition, performing community charity work and improving neighbourhood is important skill to be impacted to learners. However, the real community work, improving neighbourhood should be responsibility to those who ocupy the places through employing people as away of creating income across. The schools should not be in the community offering the services. For example, when i live in near a school i should not wait for the students to clean my environment. Instead i should find someone else to do it as away of empowerment. Therefore, learners can have the skills acquired by taking care of their own environment.
Most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold the opinion that working for charity,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improving
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
and teaching sports to the younger generation
Possible spelling mistake found.
shuold
be free and compulsory part of
Possible spelling mistake found.
educationprogramme
.
However
, I completely disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
as these should
be paid
work that
Possible spelling mistake found.
creats
income to the youths and other needy families.

Firstly
, when working for charity while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improving
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
are made
part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
tend to acquire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
necessary for them bringing sense of responsive living after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are acquired
in early stages of life,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
tend to have productive future on how they handle activities of daily living wherever they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up afterwards.
For instance
, when
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
was in high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
learned laundry,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
cleaning, utensils maintenance and even cooking food which has made me be able to handle my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
household needs.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
should be inclusive of necessary life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to stimulate
Did you mean "one's"?
ones
attitude towards facing life.

In addition
, performing community charity work and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improving
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
to
be impacted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
.
However
, the real community work,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improving
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
should be responsibility to those who
Possible spelling mistake found.
ocupy
the places through employing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as away of creating income across. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should not be in the community offering the services.
For example
, when
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in near a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
Did you mean "I"?
i
should not wait for the students to clean my environment.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Instead
Did you mean "I"?
i
should find someone else to do it as away of empowerment.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
can have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
acquired by taking care of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
environment.
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IELTS essay Parenta and guidance skills in school programmes

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
254 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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