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Reasons for culture similarities. Positives and negatives of it.

Reasons for culture similarities. Positives and negatives of it. wOG6e
It is undeniable that custom and traditions followed worldwide has become similar. I think the prime reasons for such development is globalization and migration of citizens to another countries, such trend has merit in the form of broaden up of horizon and improved lifestyle. However, it has demerit too such as losing out on cultural values. First and foremost reason for such development is movement of citizen from home country to developed nations, in hope of landing into jobs with high pay scale leading towards improved lifestyle. Owing to all this, citizens from different nations get to spend time together and exchange their culture, leading towards cultural similarities. Moreover, nowadays, an individual is not limited to customs and rituals followed in home country but has the privilege and luxury to explore the customs in incorporation internationally. Aftermath of which foster reduced cultural boundaries. To exemplify, an individual with the help of world wide web can find all the information related to celebration of fest as well as videos of celebration. Nevertheless, there are certain benefits and drawbacks attached to such developments. The prime merit of it is broaden the horizon and reduction or elimination of cultural boundaries. While, residing and spending time with citizens from overseas nations, an individual get exposure of culture, language and traditions of that country. Moving to demerits, prime one is cutting out on cultural activities active in different region. Owing to all this, cultural aspects are not forwarded from one generation to another and this lead towards diminishment of it. To exemplify, many of the under-developing country miss out on custom and tradition followed in the past because of such advancement. To conclude, although there are many benefits of cultural similarities in the form of reduction of boundaries and bringing together citizens from different nations. However, there are shortcomings too which cannot be overlooked.
It is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
custom
and traditions followed worldwide has become similar. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the prime reasons for such development is globalization and migration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, such trend has merit in the form of broaden up of horizon and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
lifestyle.
However
, it has demerit
Did you mean "to such"?
too such
as losing out on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
values.

First
and foremost reason for such development is movement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizen
from home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
, in hope of landing into jobs with high pay scale leading towards
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
lifestyle. Owing to all this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to spend time together and exchange their culture, leading towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
similarities.
Moreover
, nowadays, an individual is not limited to customs and rituals followed in home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
has the privilege and luxury to explore the customs in incorporation
internationally
. Aftermath of which foster
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
boundaries. To exemplify, an individual with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
world wide web
can find all the information related to celebration of fest
as well
as videos of celebration.

Nevertheless
, there are certain benefits and drawbacks attached to such developments. The prime merit of it is
Consider using a past participle here: "broadened".
broaden
the horizon and reduction or elimination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
boundaries. While, residing and spending time with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
from overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
, an individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
exposure of culture, language and traditions of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Moving to demerits, prime one is cutting out on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
activities active in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
region. Owing to all this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
aspects are not forwarded from one generation to another and this lead towards diminishment of it. To exemplify,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the under-developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
miss out on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
custom
and tradition followed in the past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of such advancement.

To conclude
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
similarities in the form of reduction of boundaries and bringing together
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
However
, there are shortcomings too which cannot
be overlooked
.
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IELTS essay Reasons for culture similarities. Positives and negatives of it.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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