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Ownership house is crucial in some countries.I

Ownership house is crucial in some countries. I yNEwP
While people think that ownership of house is crucial in some countries. I believe that the advantage and disadvantage of owing house. There are several reason lead to people hesitant to ownership of a house is crucial, but they mainly think about to get ones. If they sell their own house, it will not pay rent every month. Furthermore, they will be comfortable even they lose their jobs. In future, they will scared from landlord which he will increase the rent or not renewal the contract. For instance, in Egypt suffers from increase prices of ownership house which a number of the tenants tend to rent house. Thus is effects on families because the rents will be load budget on families or the landlord will renewal the contract. This example shows disadvantage of rent house when the budget not enough to get ownership house. In spit of the advantage above. I think this is disadvantage to get ownership house. First, the middle class in people is not able to afford to buy house because it is a huge budget on it. Moreover, If they will take loan from name, they will need repay by high benefits. For example, in Canada, people who they have their house. They need pay several kinds of taxes and insurance fees. In conclusion, I believe rely to level of family which it is high class can be get ownership because they can bear taxes and fees insurance, but if low or middle class will be hard like we mention previously.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is crucial in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries. I believe that the advantage and disadvantage of owing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.

There are several reason lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hesitant to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is crucial,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
mainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
ones. If they sell their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
, it will not pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rent
every month.
Furthermore
, they will be comfortable even they lose their jobs.
Did you mean: "In the future"?
In future
, they will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "scare"
scared
from landlord which he will increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rent
or not renewal the contract.
For instance
, in Egypt suffers from increase prices of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
which a number of the tenants tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
.
Thus
is effects on families
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rents
will be load budget on families or the landlord will renewal the contract. This example
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
disadvantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
when the budget not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.

In spit of the advantage above. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is disadvantage to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
.
First
, the middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
not able to afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a huge budget on it.
Moreover
, If they will take loan from name, they will need repay by high benefits.
For example
, in Canada,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who they have their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
. They need pay several kinds of taxes and insurance fees.

In conclusion
, I believe
The verb 'to rely' requires the preposition '(up)on': "rely on".
rely
to level of family which it is high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can bear taxes and fees insurance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if low or middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
like we mention previously.

IELTS essay Ownership house is crucial in some countries. I

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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